How to Win Friends and Influence People
TOP 5 IDEAS:
1. Talk about what others want and show them how to get it. The only person who really cares about what you want is you.
2. Few people are logical. Most of us are prejudiced and biased. Most people don't want to change their minds.
3. There is a reason the other man thinks and acts as he does. Ferret out that hidden reason.
4. Criticism is futile because it makes people try to justify themselves.
5. The initialisms:
DRTLKAPT: Eight ways to get the most out of a book
BALLSIBTDTGT: Twelve ways to win people over to your way of thinking
CTBAGPLUM: Nine ways to get people to change
DDDRGBP: Seven ways to get the most out of your home life
Honorable mention: Dominance Diplomacy
A $25,000, two-year study was commissioned to find out what adults really wanted to study. The primary result was health; the secondary, people.
Criticism is futile because it puts a man on the defensive. It makes him strive to justify himself.
Often, a wrong-doer will blame everybody but himself.
Never a bad word.
"If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I'll tell you what you are. That determines your character."
-- I feel important when I'm: learning, being appreciated for my skills, successful, trusted, being unreasonably egotistical, winning, making something, taking care of something, battling
"Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn from him." -- Emerson
Talk about what others want and show them how to get it. The only person who really cares about what you want is you.
My popularity, my happiness, and my income depend largely on my skill in dealing with people.
My popularity, my happiness, and my income depend largely on my skill in dealing with people.
My popularity, my happiness, and my income depend largely on my skill in dealing with people.
Eight ways to get the most out of a book:
1. Desire
2. Reread
3. Think
4. Learn by doing
5. Keep a diary
6. Analyze your actions
7. Pay for violations
8. Take notes
A study was conducted to find out which word was most frequently used. It turned out to be the pronoun "I".
"Why should people be interested in you unless you are first interested in them? Reach for your pencil now and write your reply here."
-- they know me by reputation and want something I can give
-- I'm doing something compelling or interesting
-- that's pretty much all I can think of, actually
If an author doesn't like people, people won't like his stories.
Become genuinely interested in other people.
You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.
Smile. A man with a smile is always welcome.
Remember that a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Encourage other people to talk about themselves. Listen to people wholeheartedly; they crave attention.
Talk in terms of the other man's interests.
Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
-- his divorce statistic back in 1936 was 1 in 6
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Few people are logical. Most of us are prejudiced and biased. Most people don't want to change their minds.
-- he recommends the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, which I've read and posted notes on
Show respect for the other man's opinions. Never tell a man he is wrong.
-- be diplomatic, not combative
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
Some people can't be sold. You have to let them buy.
-- I can be sold, but if I didn't buy into it, I'll change my mind later or never buy again
Let the other man do a great deal of the talking.
"The best way to convert him to an idea is to plant it in his mind casually, but so as to interest him in it -- to get him thinking about it on his own account."
Let the other fellow feel that the idea is his.
Stop a minute to contrast your keen interest in your own affairs with your mild concern about anything else. Realize, then, that everybody else in the world feels exactly the same way!
There is a reason the other man thinks and acts as he does. Ferret out that hidden reason.
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
-- sympathy = attention = validation
J.P. Morgan observed that a man usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good, and the real one.
-- I'd heard this before, nice to hear it again
Appeal to the nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
-- use visual aids, predictions of the future, make the ideas interactive
The story of Charles Schwab and the mill: he says nothing, writes a 6 to reflect the team's productivity on the floor, then watches it get changed to 7 and 10 by successive shifts
Every successful man loves the game. The chance for self-expression. The chance to prove his worth, to excel, to win.
Throw down a challenge.
Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking:
Begin in a friendly way.
Appeal to noble motives.
Let the other man do a great deal of the talking.
Let the other man feel the idea is his.
Show respect for the other man's opinions. Never tell a man he is wrong.
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.
Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
The story of Charles Schwab and the cigarette-smoking employees: instead of showing them the no smoking sign above their head, he gives them cigars and says he'd appreciate it if the cigars were smoked outside
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other man save face.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
Give a man a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the actions you want the other person to take seem easy.
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Bestow titles with attached responsibilities.
If you won't do a thing, immediately change the subject afterwards.
Nine ways to change people without offending or arousing resentment:
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Give a man a fine reputation to live up to.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
Let the other man save face.
Use encouragement to make change seem easy.
Make the other person happy about following your suggestions.
Seven ways to make your home life happier:
"When he was eighty-two years old, Tolstoi was unable to endure the tragic unhappiness of his home any longer. He fled from his wife on a snowy October night in 1910 - fled into the cold and darkness, not knowing where he was going. Eleven days later, he died of pneumonia in a railway station. His dying request was that she should not be permitted to come into his presence."
-- WHOA
Don't nag!!!
-- I think nagging comes from people needing validation and a feeling of importance
-- I think nagging can be stopped if, every time it happens, the behavior is pointed out, a better way to phrase the request is suggested, and the nagger is given an emotional minus by the nagee
"Success in marriage is much more than a matter of finding the right person; it is also a matter of BEING the right person."
Don't try to make your partner over.
"Gladstone, a formidable enemy in public, never criticized at home. When he came down to breakfast in the morning, only to discover that the rest of his family was still sleeping, he had a gentle way of registering his reproach. He raised his voice and filled the house with a mysterious chant that reminded the other members that England's busiest man was waiting downstairs for his breakfast, all alone. Diplomatic, considerate, he rigorously refrained from domestic criticism."
-- diplomatic and considerate are not words I would use to describe the kind of douche who'd rather wake up his entire family by yelling at them than fix his breakfast himself
Don't criticize.
"Most men when seeking wives are not looking for executives but for someone with allure and willingness to flatter their vanity, to make them feel superior." -- Paul Popenoe, Director of the Institute of Family Relations
-- I think I fall into that category, but then again, having an executive wife would flatter my vanity and make me feel superior
"Men should express their appreciation of a woman's effort to look well and dress becomingly. All men forget, if they have ever realized it, how profoundly women are interested in clothes. For example, if a man and woman meet another man and woman on the street, the woman seldom looks at the other man; she usually looks to see how well the other woman is dressed."
-- What in the world? Is this true? I'll have to ask...
Praise women's attire and efforts.
Give honest appreciation.
"The American home really needs a few more vices. Breakfast in bed, for instance, is one of those amiable dissipations a greater number of women should be indulged in. Breakfast in bed to a woman does much the same thing as a private club for a man." - Gaynor Maddox
"Trivialities are at the bottom of most marital unhappiness. A simple thing like a wife's waving goodby to her husband when he goes to work would avert a good many divorces." -- Judge Joseph Sabbath.
Pay little attentions.
"No woman can ever understand why a man doesn't put forth the same effort to make his home a concern as he does to make his profession a success. . . not one man in a hundred ever gives any real serious thought or makes any honest effort to make his marriage a success. He leaves the most important thing in his life to chance, and he wins or loses according to whether fortune is with him or not."
-- When someone who's not self-aware runs into opposition, they instinctively start battling for validation and control. If they're battling someone similar, you see something awesome: their selfish impulses start acting as checks and balances on each other. Since neither of them is really getting what they're after, the only way they can keep from hating each other is to develop a kind of dominance diplomacy, where the loser in a given situation has to figure out a way to get the winner to do what he wants.
-- DOMINANCE DIPLOMACY is a rad concept, I am glad I invented it
Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
-- man if it that didn't come naturally I don't think a book on the subject would help me out unless I gave it to my wife
-- actually it could work if I let her catch me reading it
Don't nag.
Don't try to make your partner over.
Don't criticize.
Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
Give honest appreciation.
Be courteous.
Pay little attentions.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
How To Sell Anything To Anybody - Joe Girard - ***
How To Sell Anything To Anybody
Top 5 ideas:
Be flexible. Offer different things to different people based on their desires.
Every prospect you turn off will turn off many more.
Sell to everybody you meet. Make sure everyone knows what you sell.
They like what you sell if you like what they have.
Make friends and they'll work for you. Give friends incentives and they'll work harder for you.
If you have a good deal on something people want, your salesmanship skills don't matter that much.
Good salesmen know what they want and really want it.
List prospects. Gather information. Write it down. Take advantage of prospects' networks.
Your best prospects are repeat customers.
Every prospect you turn off will turn off many more. Do nothing that would make someone regret buying from you.
Salesmen resent other salesmen.
Don't join the salesmen's club. Use all your time to make opportunities.
You are battling against everyone who is trying to sell anything to your customer.
Make friends and they'll work for you. Give friends incentives and they'll work harder for you.
Make sure everyone knows what you sell. Sell to everybody you talk to.
You don't need to make deals with people; just let them know, every once in a while, that you have something for them any time they need it.
Getting someone else to recommend you gives you a good first impression.
Synergize with other people's businesses. Get them to bring customers to you.
Discerning people are proud of their ability to find deals. These people have influence and will let everyone they advise know where they found that good deal.
A good gift is one that reminds someone of you every time they use it
.
Nobody is "just looking". They're all after something.
Ask people why you couldn't help them if you can't see your mistakes.
Get people to relax by doing something small and unexpected for them.
Be observant. Watch for signs that indicate the customer's likeliness to purchase your product.
The most common reason for losing a customer who seemed really interested is not listening enough, not watching his face and body movements.
They'll like what you're selling if you like what they have.
Anything expensive can make people question how you pay for it.
Avoid flags that trip people's defenses.
Do not compete with the customer in any way.
People have general wants with specific pieces. As long as the general want is taken care of, the specific pieces aren't that important.
Be flexible. Offer different things to different people based on their desires.
Spot delivery: essentially locking someone into a deal by giving them the item before the arrangements have been finalized.
The most effective ways to bring in customers cost money.
Nobody sells everybody.
Top 5 ideas:
Be flexible. Offer different things to different people based on their desires.
Every prospect you turn off will turn off many more.
Sell to everybody you meet. Make sure everyone knows what you sell.
They like what you sell if you like what they have.
Make friends and they'll work for you. Give friends incentives and they'll work harder for you.
If you have a good deal on something people want, your salesmanship skills don't matter that much.
Good salesmen know what they want and really want it.
List prospects. Gather information. Write it down. Take advantage of prospects' networks.
Your best prospects are repeat customers.
Every prospect you turn off will turn off many more. Do nothing that would make someone regret buying from you.
Salesmen resent other salesmen.
Don't join the salesmen's club. Use all your time to make opportunities.
You are battling against everyone who is trying to sell anything to your customer.
Make friends and they'll work for you. Give friends incentives and they'll work harder for you.
Make sure everyone knows what you sell. Sell to everybody you talk to.
You don't need to make deals with people; just let them know, every once in a while, that you have something for them any time they need it.
Getting someone else to recommend you gives you a good first impression.
Synergize with other people's businesses. Get them to bring customers to you.
Discerning people are proud of their ability to find deals. These people have influence and will let everyone they advise know where they found that good deal.
A good gift is one that reminds someone of you every time they use it
.
Nobody is "just looking". They're all after something.
Ask people why you couldn't help them if you can't see your mistakes.
Get people to relax by doing something small and unexpected for them.
Be observant. Watch for signs that indicate the customer's likeliness to purchase your product.
The most common reason for losing a customer who seemed really interested is not listening enough, not watching his face and body movements.
They'll like what you're selling if you like what they have.
Anything expensive can make people question how you pay for it.
Avoid flags that trip people's defenses.
Do not compete with the customer in any way.
People have general wants with specific pieces. As long as the general want is taken care of, the specific pieces aren't that important.
Be flexible. Offer different things to different people based on their desires.
Spot delivery: essentially locking someone into a deal by giving them the item before the arrangements have been finalized.
The most effective ways to bring in customers cost money.
Nobody sells everybody.
Ten Days To An Effective Memory - Dr. Joyce Brothers and Edward P.F. Fagan - **
Ten Days To A Successful Memory
Top 5 ideas: COMAT
Catering to a mood is giving in to a whim.
"Overlearn" a subject - memorize it past the 100% mark.
Motive + repetition = retention.
Allow time to reminisce.
The SAGAN method.
-- The primary author won the grand prize on The $64,000 Question and first developed her memory so she'd have more time to date. Nice.
Without memory efficiency, many necessary things are left undone.
Without memory efficiency, many important things are never gained.
Without memory efficiency, much of life passes by without our being able to recognize or appreciate it.
For memory efficiency to work, you must have a motive.
-- be superhuman
Memory increases in proportion to motive.
Motive + repetition = retention.
Memory retention increases in proportion to memory use.
Write down why you're doing something to psyche yourself up about it.
Memory motive:
Preserve my knowledge. Keep my strong mind from stumbling.
Reasons:
1. Have more time for the better things in life.
2. Keep commitments.
3. Stop backtracking.
4. Find discrepancies and continuity in people's behavior.
5. Stop forgetting info in conversations.
Advantages:
1. Maintain my expertise.
2. Integrate my thoughts and actions.
3. Synthesize new information better.
4. Provide advantages to people who trust me with information.
5. A strong memory is impressive, the mark of someone who takes things seriously.
the tension theory: once people start something, they want to finish it
Catering to a mood is giving in to a whim.
Start immediately and continue until the task is completed.
Having to work often produces a better product than not having to.
I must control my habits.
What you remember depends on your internal biases.
You can give meaning to anything you need to remember.
Methods:
- Soundalikes
- Association
- Grouping
- Acronym
- Numeric
Everything you do has an end in view!
-- before doing something, ask yourself: how will this end?
-- don't make the mistake of assuming your answer is right, especially if your activity has anything to do with people
Once you have achieved a stronger memory, what will you do with it?
-- put it to work as I read more and live life
Psychologists set two teams up reaping wheat and put flags on one side of the field. The side with flags finished faster, even when they switched the groups.
"The results of this experiment clearly show the pulling power of the goal."
-- they clearly show the sample size is 2
Goal gradient: the increase in efficiency and speed once one reaches a point where the end is in sight.
Reward yourself for a job well done.
Don't let your reward take you away for what you're doing.
Don't delay your reward
-- a cheap way to reward myself would be through whistling, I like to whistle
Eliminate distractions.
Reminiscence: allowing time for knowledge to sink in will boost memory capability
There's no such thing as mental fatigue.
Give information some time to sink in before repeating it.
Repeated information becomes a part of "memory echo" rather than being ingrained into longer-term memory.
-- to test if someone's listening or not, pause before asking them to respond.
Should you cram? Short answer: only if you need to. Cram right before bed, then once again before the material needs to be used.
Learn the whole of a thing at a time.
Recite the material you want to remember.
Read it aloud, recite it, write it down.
"Overlearn" a subject - memorize it until it would be impossible to forget it.
-- memorize it past the 100% point where there are no pauses in your ability to remember it
Forget things that are unimportant.
The closest thing there is to a photographic memory is eidetic imaging: being able to see something for a slightly extended period of time after you've looked away from it.
Don't study similar subjects next to each other.
Don't take notes until you've read through a passage once.
Heavy meals slow the thought processes a little.
Top 5 ideas: COMAT
Catering to a mood is giving in to a whim.
"Overlearn" a subject - memorize it past the 100% mark.
Motive + repetition = retention.
Allow time to reminisce.
The SAGAN method.
-- The primary author won the grand prize on The $64,000 Question and first developed her memory so she'd have more time to date. Nice.
Without memory efficiency, many necessary things are left undone.
Without memory efficiency, many important things are never gained.
Without memory efficiency, much of life passes by without our being able to recognize or appreciate it.
For memory efficiency to work, you must have a motive.
-- be superhuman
Memory increases in proportion to motive.
Motive + repetition = retention.
Memory retention increases in proportion to memory use.
Write down why you're doing something to psyche yourself up about it.
Memory motive:
Preserve my knowledge. Keep my strong mind from stumbling.
Reasons:
1. Have more time for the better things in life.
2. Keep commitments.
3. Stop backtracking.
4. Find discrepancies and continuity in people's behavior.
5. Stop forgetting info in conversations.
Advantages:
1. Maintain my expertise.
2. Integrate my thoughts and actions.
3. Synthesize new information better.
4. Provide advantages to people who trust me with information.
5. A strong memory is impressive, the mark of someone who takes things seriously.
the tension theory: once people start something, they want to finish it
Catering to a mood is giving in to a whim.
Start immediately and continue until the task is completed.
Having to work often produces a better product than not having to.
I must control my habits.
What you remember depends on your internal biases.
You can give meaning to anything you need to remember.
Methods:
- Soundalikes
- Association
- Grouping
- Acronym
- Numeric
Everything you do has an end in view!
-- before doing something, ask yourself: how will this end?
-- don't make the mistake of assuming your answer is right, especially if your activity has anything to do with people
Once you have achieved a stronger memory, what will you do with it?
-- put it to work as I read more and live life
Psychologists set two teams up reaping wheat and put flags on one side of the field. The side with flags finished faster, even when they switched the groups.
"The results of this experiment clearly show the pulling power of the goal."
-- they clearly show the sample size is 2
Goal gradient: the increase in efficiency and speed once one reaches a point where the end is in sight.
Reward yourself for a job well done.
Don't let your reward take you away for what you're doing.
Don't delay your reward
-- a cheap way to reward myself would be through whistling, I like to whistle
Eliminate distractions.
Reminiscence: allowing time for knowledge to sink in will boost memory capability
There's no such thing as mental fatigue.
Give information some time to sink in before repeating it.
Repeated information becomes a part of "memory echo" rather than being ingrained into longer-term memory.
-- to test if someone's listening or not, pause before asking them to respond.
Should you cram? Short answer: only if you need to. Cram right before bed, then once again before the material needs to be used.
Learn the whole of a thing at a time.
Recite the material you want to remember.
Read it aloud, recite it, write it down.
"Overlearn" a subject - memorize it until it would be impossible to forget it.
-- memorize it past the 100% point where there are no pauses in your ability to remember it
Forget things that are unimportant.
The closest thing there is to a photographic memory is eidetic imaging: being able to see something for a slightly extended period of time after you've looked away from it.
Don't study similar subjects next to each other.
Don't take notes until you've read through a passage once.
Heavy meals slow the thought processes a little.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Spin Selling -- Neil Rackham -- ?
- It would be hard to rate this book, since it's the first one I've read regarding sales. It seems solid to me, though. -
-- Just a note: the graphs in this book don't demonstrate causation well. It's impossible to objectively classify the effectiveness of any particular method when no two sales situations are equivalent.
-- in Appendix A, this is actually addressed
Low-value cycle (old model):
1. Generic sell
2. Investigate needs
3. List benefits
4. Overcome objections
5. Close sale
What works in one-time sales is different than what works in sales that require numerous interactions.
A good product pitch can have a temporary effect on a customer, but a few days later it's largely gone.
People are more willing to take mistakes when theirs is the only pair of eyes that will scrutinize these mistakes.
Preliminaries - research and preparation, especially in regards to the customer
Investigation - asking questions
Demonstrating capability - proving your solution
Obtaining commitment - getting the customer to commit to something
SPIN cycle:
Situation Questions: data gathering
Problem Questions: explore problems, difficulties, and dissatisfactions
Implication Questions: questions that get the customer thinking about the urgency and seriousness of these problems
Need-payoff Questions: questions that get the customer interested in pursuing your solutions
Closing -- inviting or implying a commitment, and making the buyer's next statement accept or deny commitment.
Closing techniques have reduced effectiveness when the commitment required is larger.
The bigger the decision, the more negatively people react to pressure.
"It's not closing itself I object to," a senior buyer at BP said, "it's the arrogant assumption that I'm stupid enough to be manipulated into buying through the use of tricks."
If a professional buyer recognizes your technique as such, he won't like it - an incentive to avoid the more manipulative closes.
Orders: The customer makes a firm commitment to buy.
Advances: The customer advances the sale forward towards a decision.
Continuations: No action is agreed upon by the customer.
No-sales: The customer actively refuses a commitment.
A continuation is not an advance. Make sure you're getting somewhere definite with the customer.
When planning, always include objectives that result in specific action from the customer.
Keep the commitments you're trying to extract reasonable.
"Some writers have made great play of the distinction between a need and a want. A need, they say, is an objective requirement. A want is something with personal emotional appeal. We found this distinction unhelpful. . ."
-- hahaha, I bet.
Categories of needs: implied and explicit
The more implied needs you can uncover, the greater your chances of success.
Implied needs should be converted into explicit needs in larger sales.
Uncovering needs doesn't make a sale. The customer that's aware of their needs may buy from someone else, which is why closing is so important.
The quicker you can uncover needs, the better. Move from situation questions to problem questions as soon as possible.
Problem questions are most effective on small sales.
The larger the sale, the more implication questions are required before you offer solutions.
Implication questions work particularly well on decision makers, who are accustomed to considering the implications of their actions.
-- presumably, problem questions would work better on followers
Keep an upbeat tone when asking implication questions, because they tend to depress people.
Need-payoff question: How do you think you could be helped by me?
-- From No Logo: The question is not "Where do you want to go today?", but "How can I best steer you into my synergized maze of choices?"
The buyer knows his needs best. Once he's focused on finding solutions to his problems with your tools, you are golden.
Need-payoff questions assist the buyer in selling his decision to others around him.
The real selling of a product in a large sale goes on behind your back.
Implication questions are sad, need-payoff questions are happy.
-- I caught that one before I read it
Write down at least three potential problems the buyer may have which your products or services can solve.
Write down examples of actual Problem questions you could ask to uncover each of the problems you've identified.
Avoid early need-payoff questions.
Avoid need-payoff questions where you don't have answers: don't strengthen needs you can't meet.
Features: The basic features of a product. More features increase price sensitivity - which is good for low-cost items.
Advantages: How your product can help the customer
Benefits: How your product can meet the customer's explicit needs
As excited as you may be about a feature, the customer's motivations are infinitely more important.
"The students all had that unnatural attentive cleanliness that goes with being new to sales."
-- I definitely, definitely had this at Walker Group. I think it helped.
The best way to handle objections is to prevent them.
-- presumably through directing conversations towards the positive and always allowing the customer to speak freely
Objections early in the call means you're offering too many solutions and not asking enough questions.
Objections about value means you haven't done a good enough job developing needs.
How often have you been introduced to someone and, 10 seconds later, forgotten his or her name? Why should you forget something as important as a name? Your mind is full of other things, such as what you're going to say next.
-- the main reason I forget names is because I don't see the person as important. Either way is totally disrespectful.
On the wall of his office, one of the buyers had a picture of a racing yacht. "I keep it there because it improves my efficency."
"Why?"
"New sales reps visit me for the first time and say 'What a beautiful picture. You must really enjoy sailing.' I reply, 'I hate sailing. That picture's there to remind me how much time it wastes. Now what did you want to talk to me about?'"
The more busy someone is, the less time they have to waste with you. Get to the point when dealing with productive people.
Buyers asking questions messes up sellers' games. Don't let this happen to you.
Establish:
Who you are
Why you're there (but not by giving details)
Your right to ask questions
Entelechy: the actualization of something that was just potential
Why do people find it so difficult to learn skills? They don't go out and practice them.
"If you had to put forward just one principle for successfully learning a skill, what would it be?"
"Work on one thing at a time and get it right."
Never judge something's effectiveness until you've tried it at least three times.
Quantity before quality.
-- this one surprised me for a second, but when I realized what noobs people are when I first start things, I can see why that would work
Practice in safe situations.
The Hawthorne effect: People do better when you give them attention.
"If you cannot measure your knowledge or express it in quantitative terms, your knowledge is of a meagre and insignificant kind."
-- I was feeling that the sort of speed-learning approach I'd taken to a lot of these books, going for subconscious integration over memorization and retention of principles, wasn't good enough.
-- Just a note: the graphs in this book don't demonstrate causation well. It's impossible to objectively classify the effectiveness of any particular method when no two sales situations are equivalent.
-- in Appendix A, this is actually addressed
Low-value cycle (old model):
1. Generic sell
2. Investigate needs
3. List benefits
4. Overcome objections
5. Close sale
What works in one-time sales is different than what works in sales that require numerous interactions.
A good product pitch can have a temporary effect on a customer, but a few days later it's largely gone.
People are more willing to take mistakes when theirs is the only pair of eyes that will scrutinize these mistakes.
Preliminaries - research and preparation, especially in regards to the customer
Investigation - asking questions
Demonstrating capability - proving your solution
Obtaining commitment - getting the customer to commit to something
SPIN cycle:
Situation Questions: data gathering
Problem Questions: explore problems, difficulties, and dissatisfactions
Implication Questions: questions that get the customer thinking about the urgency and seriousness of these problems
Need-payoff Questions: questions that get the customer interested in pursuing your solutions
Closing -- inviting or implying a commitment, and making the buyer's next statement accept or deny commitment.
Closing techniques have reduced effectiveness when the commitment required is larger.
The bigger the decision, the more negatively people react to pressure.
"It's not closing itself I object to," a senior buyer at BP said, "it's the arrogant assumption that I'm stupid enough to be manipulated into buying through the use of tricks."
If a professional buyer recognizes your technique as such, he won't like it - an incentive to avoid the more manipulative closes.
Orders: The customer makes a firm commitment to buy.
Advances: The customer advances the sale forward towards a decision.
Continuations: No action is agreed upon by the customer.
No-sales: The customer actively refuses a commitment.
A continuation is not an advance. Make sure you're getting somewhere definite with the customer.
When planning, always include objectives that result in specific action from the customer.
Keep the commitments you're trying to extract reasonable.
"Some writers have made great play of the distinction between a need and a want. A need, they say, is an objective requirement. A want is something with personal emotional appeal. We found this distinction unhelpful. . ."
-- hahaha, I bet.
Categories of needs: implied and explicit
The more implied needs you can uncover, the greater your chances of success.
Implied needs should be converted into explicit needs in larger sales.
Uncovering needs doesn't make a sale. The customer that's aware of their needs may buy from someone else, which is why closing is so important.
The quicker you can uncover needs, the better. Move from situation questions to problem questions as soon as possible.
Problem questions are most effective on small sales.
The larger the sale, the more implication questions are required before you offer solutions.
Implication questions work particularly well on decision makers, who are accustomed to considering the implications of their actions.
-- presumably, problem questions would work better on followers
Keep an upbeat tone when asking implication questions, because they tend to depress people.
Need-payoff question: How do you think you could be helped by me?
-- From No Logo: The question is not "Where do you want to go today?", but "How can I best steer you into my synergized maze of choices?"
The buyer knows his needs best. Once he's focused on finding solutions to his problems with your tools, you are golden.
Need-payoff questions assist the buyer in selling his decision to others around him.
The real selling of a product in a large sale goes on behind your back.
Implication questions are sad, need-payoff questions are happy.
-- I caught that one before I read it
Write down at least three potential problems the buyer may have which your products or services can solve.
Write down examples of actual Problem questions you could ask to uncover each of the problems you've identified.
Avoid early need-payoff questions.
Avoid need-payoff questions where you don't have answers: don't strengthen needs you can't meet.
Features: The basic features of a product. More features increase price sensitivity - which is good for low-cost items.
Advantages: How your product can help the customer
Benefits: How your product can meet the customer's explicit needs
As excited as you may be about a feature, the customer's motivations are infinitely more important.
"The students all had that unnatural attentive cleanliness that goes with being new to sales."
-- I definitely, definitely had this at Walker Group. I think it helped.
The best way to handle objections is to prevent them.
-- presumably through directing conversations towards the positive and always allowing the customer to speak freely
Objections early in the call means you're offering too many solutions and not asking enough questions.
Objections about value means you haven't done a good enough job developing needs.
How often have you been introduced to someone and, 10 seconds later, forgotten his or her name? Why should you forget something as important as a name? Your mind is full of other things, such as what you're going to say next.
-- the main reason I forget names is because I don't see the person as important. Either way is totally disrespectful.
On the wall of his office, one of the buyers had a picture of a racing yacht. "I keep it there because it improves my efficency."
"Why?"
"New sales reps visit me for the first time and say 'What a beautiful picture. You must really enjoy sailing.' I reply, 'I hate sailing. That picture's there to remind me how much time it wastes. Now what did you want to talk to me about?'"
The more busy someone is, the less time they have to waste with you. Get to the point when dealing with productive people.
Buyers asking questions messes up sellers' games. Don't let this happen to you.
Establish:
Who you are
Why you're there (but not by giving details)
Your right to ask questions
Entelechy: the actualization of something that was just potential
Why do people find it so difficult to learn skills? They don't go out and practice them.
"If you had to put forward just one principle for successfully learning a skill, what would it be?"
"Work on one thing at a time and get it right."
Never judge something's effectiveness until you've tried it at least three times.
Quantity before quality.
-- this one surprised me for a second, but when I realized what noobs people are when I first start things, I can see why that would work
Practice in safe situations.
The Hawthorne effect: People do better when you give them attention.
"If you cannot measure your knowledge or express it in quantitative terms, your knowledge is of a meagre and insignificant kind."
-- I was feeling that the sort of speed-learning approach I'd taken to a lot of these books, going for subconscious integration over memorization and retention of principles, wasn't good enough.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Snap judgements (not a book)
I ran across a forum post containing a list of ways to make snap judgements people make about others based on their behavior. It was interesting, so I decided to remember, write down, and comment on the more poignant ones.
Cheap tippers = entitlement complex / never held a real job
My reaction: I don't always tip, and both of those things apply to me
My reaction: I should tip
Rude to people in subordinate roles = not a nice person or leader
My reaction: Nice people exercise courtesy and patience with subordinates.
Rude to the elderly = bad person
My reaction: Yep. I'll offer to help old people from time to time. I think it's cool that they're still out there doing things.
Talks too much about something = lying, exaggerating, making it up
My reaction: I would add "inflating its importance" in there. Something's up with people who do this, balanced people move on to different topics.
Talks a lot about money or materialistic things = will forsake you for them
My reaction: True, but it's to be expected
How people drive = a glimpse at who they are
My reaction: Balanced people will drive competently and quickly forget others' stupidity. I put a little too much emphasis on caution when I drive, and I also do that in life.
People who cut other people off when they're talking = self-centered and egotistical
My reaction: Definitely.
People who cheat = cheaters at life
My reaction: Agreed, they don't want to face challenges squarely or submit to them
"I'm going to be completely honest with you" = "Everything I said before this was a half-truth or meant to placate you"
My reaction: Hah!
Doesn't make simple decisions without asking excessive questions = tiny, fearful person who can't think for themselves
My reaction: Yeah, I've seen myself doing that and been conscious that I've given off that impression. No more.
No handshake from a guy = insecure or socially retarded
My reaction: I'd never see this because I always offer a handshake. I respect people who beat me to it.
Bonecrushing handshake = douchebag or insecure hypermasculine pricks
Too many pumps = needy and overly friendly
My reaction: The proper handshake is firm, with one or two pumps.
People who only buy the best = overly concerned with what others think
My reaction: Yes, the world is not set up so that people can buy the best of everything.
Women who won't bowl or complain about it constantly = high maintenance
My reaction: Anyone who complains about anything constantly is high maintenance. Anyone who thinks they're too good to bowl probably can't enjoy the simple things.
"I'm not, but" = "I am"
My reaction: This one's been around since Ben Franklin's days.
More complicated drinks = more neuroses
My reaction: ???
People who broadly proclaim they're right = uncertain or bullshitting
My reaction: Classic overcompensation. Also, their egos demand respect for their knowledge.
People who don't like dogs and weren't attacked as a child = flawed character
My reaction: It's hard to ignore dogs' loyalty and love.
People who aren't liked by dogs = flawed character
My reaction: Maybe, but I would hate to judge someone based on a dog wigging out at them.
People without a small circle of close friends = not trustworthy
My reaction: How can you not have a small circle of close friends?
People with nothing good to say about exes = bitter
My reaction: I would say vindictive and small. Unless someone's conduct towards you has been thoroughly reprehensible, you should always have kind words for them. I like to focus on the good, not the bad.
The social mask that people present to you = how they cover up their inner insecurities
My reaction: This sounds about right. If people can't competently discuss or field questions related to the things they bring up about themselves, that's a sure sign of insecurity.
People who refer to their parents as mom or dad without using "my" = immature and spoiled
My reaction: Whoa, hope I never meet any of those in my adult life.
People who don't drink or swear = not trustworthy, unless they're recovering alcoholics
My reaction: Or they're religious. The reason not to trust these people, I think, is because they aren't attuned to the world.
People who never have an opinion = people pleasers
My reaction: Then there are also the passive-aggressive people pleasers. These people hold definite opinions, but want all the politeness points earned by letting others speak first. A sure sign is that they don't like putting their preferences on the table when the question's first asked, but they like to quickly "trump" the first people to speak by saying, "No, let's do it my way instead..."
How someone looks at you when you're not looking at them = a good measure of how they feel about you
My reaction: This is bona fide brilliant.
How someone's behavior changes around people of the opposite sex, outside the presence of their significant other = giant character indicator
My reaction: That's an easy way to discover a mismatch.
A girl who hasn't offered to pay for anything by the third date = dump
A girl who hasn't allowed you to pay for anything for her by the third date = insecure
My reaction: Sounds about right.
Smokes = fucks
More than five piercings = fucks
My reaction: Probably. I'm sure there's a better chance than there would be otherwise.
Fat people = lack discipline
Slightly fat people = lazy
My reaction: That's too broad of a generalization. Questions would need to be asked to support that hypothesis.
Can't hold a job = unreliable
My reaction: Whether or not they can get places on time or do the things they've said they'd do is a better indicator of reliability, but that wouldn't come up in your first few conversations with them.
No life goals = waste of space
My reaction: Yep. Count dumb life goals ("breed") or goals they're not working towards the same way.
No continuing education = stagnant in life
My reaction: I would be surprised if I could find someone like this.
Bad table manners = no class
My reaction: As arbitrary as table manners are, they're an important indicator of cultural awareness.
Good reaction to compliments = good person who's comfortable with themselves
My reaction: Yeah. Also, the ability to give compliments is a good indicator. I'm guessing that in today's egocentric world, more people can give than receive compliments.
People who read = worth getting to know
My reaction: I agree, but I have to point out that reading's not some magic intellectual talisman of coolness. What you take away from a book or magazine can be less than what you take away from a documentary or a movie. That said, I do enjoy conversations with people who read far more than conversations with people who don't. Readers are more likely to be intellectually well-rounded and less validation-oriented than people who lack the patience to stare at blocks of black text for hours on end.
People who treat children like people of value = good human beings
My reaction: For the most part, I do this. My patience with bratty kids has probably increased as I've grown older.
Attributions = typically projections
My reaction: This one's especially important.
Posture = identifier
My reaction: This falls under body language, which I should learn more about.
People who complain about others behind their backs = not likely to ever confront them
My reaction: I need to watch for this. If I'm talking to one guy about another person, I'm not talking to the right guy.
People who change the subject because they know nothing about it = dodgy characters
People who admit they don't know enough to have the conversation you're trying to have = secure people
My reaction: Nice. Lately I've been abandoning discussions the second I realize my knowledge is insufficient to continue them.
People who know what they're talking about but aren't willing to see the merit in your points = tools
My reaction: Pretty much.
Cheap tippers = entitlement complex / never held a real job
My reaction: I don't always tip, and both of those things apply to me
My reaction: I should tip
Rude to people in subordinate roles = not a nice person or leader
My reaction: Nice people exercise courtesy and patience with subordinates.
Rude to the elderly = bad person
My reaction: Yep. I'll offer to help old people from time to time. I think it's cool that they're still out there doing things.
Talks too much about something = lying, exaggerating, making it up
My reaction: I would add "inflating its importance" in there. Something's up with people who do this, balanced people move on to different topics.
Talks a lot about money or materialistic things = will forsake you for them
My reaction: True, but it's to be expected
How people drive = a glimpse at who they are
My reaction: Balanced people will drive competently and quickly forget others' stupidity. I put a little too much emphasis on caution when I drive, and I also do that in life.
People who cut other people off when they're talking = self-centered and egotistical
My reaction: Definitely.
People who cheat = cheaters at life
My reaction: Agreed, they don't want to face challenges squarely or submit to them
"I'm going to be completely honest with you" = "Everything I said before this was a half-truth or meant to placate you"
My reaction: Hah!
Doesn't make simple decisions without asking excessive questions = tiny, fearful person who can't think for themselves
My reaction: Yeah, I've seen myself doing that and been conscious that I've given off that impression. No more.
No handshake from a guy = insecure or socially retarded
My reaction: I'd never see this because I always offer a handshake. I respect people who beat me to it.
Bonecrushing handshake = douchebag or insecure hypermasculine pricks
Too many pumps = needy and overly friendly
My reaction: The proper handshake is firm, with one or two pumps.
People who only buy the best = overly concerned with what others think
My reaction: Yes, the world is not set up so that people can buy the best of everything.
Women who won't bowl or complain about it constantly = high maintenance
My reaction: Anyone who complains about anything constantly is high maintenance. Anyone who thinks they're too good to bowl probably can't enjoy the simple things.
"I'm not, but" = "I am"
My reaction: This one's been around since Ben Franklin's days.
More complicated drinks = more neuroses
My reaction: ???
People who broadly proclaim they're right = uncertain or bullshitting
My reaction: Classic overcompensation. Also, their egos demand respect for their knowledge.
People who don't like dogs and weren't attacked as a child = flawed character
My reaction: It's hard to ignore dogs' loyalty and love.
People who aren't liked by dogs = flawed character
My reaction: Maybe, but I would hate to judge someone based on a dog wigging out at them.
People without a small circle of close friends = not trustworthy
My reaction: How can you not have a small circle of close friends?
People with nothing good to say about exes = bitter
My reaction: I would say vindictive and small. Unless someone's conduct towards you has been thoroughly reprehensible, you should always have kind words for them. I like to focus on the good, not the bad.
The social mask that people present to you = how they cover up their inner insecurities
My reaction: This sounds about right. If people can't competently discuss or field questions related to the things they bring up about themselves, that's a sure sign of insecurity.
People who refer to their parents as mom or dad without using "my" = immature and spoiled
My reaction: Whoa, hope I never meet any of those in my adult life.
People who don't drink or swear = not trustworthy, unless they're recovering alcoholics
My reaction: Or they're religious. The reason not to trust these people, I think, is because they aren't attuned to the world.
People who never have an opinion = people pleasers
My reaction: Then there are also the passive-aggressive people pleasers. These people hold definite opinions, but want all the politeness points earned by letting others speak first. A sure sign is that they don't like putting their preferences on the table when the question's first asked, but they like to quickly "trump" the first people to speak by saying, "No, let's do it my way instead..."
How someone looks at you when you're not looking at them = a good measure of how they feel about you
My reaction: This is bona fide brilliant.
How someone's behavior changes around people of the opposite sex, outside the presence of their significant other = giant character indicator
My reaction: That's an easy way to discover a mismatch.
A girl who hasn't offered to pay for anything by the third date = dump
A girl who hasn't allowed you to pay for anything for her by the third date = insecure
My reaction: Sounds about right.
Smokes = fucks
More than five piercings = fucks
My reaction: Probably. I'm sure there's a better chance than there would be otherwise.
Fat people = lack discipline
Slightly fat people = lazy
My reaction: That's too broad of a generalization. Questions would need to be asked to support that hypothesis.
Can't hold a job = unreliable
My reaction: Whether or not they can get places on time or do the things they've said they'd do is a better indicator of reliability, but that wouldn't come up in your first few conversations with them.
No life goals = waste of space
My reaction: Yep. Count dumb life goals ("breed") or goals they're not working towards the same way.
No continuing education = stagnant in life
My reaction: I would be surprised if I could find someone like this.
Bad table manners = no class
My reaction: As arbitrary as table manners are, they're an important indicator of cultural awareness.
Good reaction to compliments = good person who's comfortable with themselves
My reaction: Yeah. Also, the ability to give compliments is a good indicator. I'm guessing that in today's egocentric world, more people can give than receive compliments.
People who read = worth getting to know
My reaction: I agree, but I have to point out that reading's not some magic intellectual talisman of coolness. What you take away from a book or magazine can be less than what you take away from a documentary or a movie. That said, I do enjoy conversations with people who read far more than conversations with people who don't. Readers are more likely to be intellectually well-rounded and less validation-oriented than people who lack the patience to stare at blocks of black text for hours on end.
People who treat children like people of value = good human beings
My reaction: For the most part, I do this. My patience with bratty kids has probably increased as I've grown older.
Attributions = typically projections
My reaction: This one's especially important.
Posture = identifier
My reaction: This falls under body language, which I should learn more about.
People who complain about others behind their backs = not likely to ever confront them
My reaction: I need to watch for this. If I'm talking to one guy about another person, I'm not talking to the right guy.
People who change the subject because they know nothing about it = dodgy characters
People who admit they don't know enough to have the conversation you're trying to have = secure people
My reaction: Nice. Lately I've been abandoning discussions the second I realize my knowledge is insufficient to continue them.
People who know what they're talking about but aren't willing to see the merit in your points = tools
My reaction: Pretty much.
No Logo - Naomi Klein - ***
I would've given this book four stars if I was into this kind of thing, but as you can probably tell from my sparse notes, I'm not.
No Logo - Naomi Klein
In the early 90's, generic products started increasing in market share - to counter this, ad agencies turned to branding
Parents may have gone bargain basement, but kids, it turned out, were still willing to pay up to fit in. "They run in packs. If you sell to one, you sell to everyone in their class and everyone in their school."
Branding replaces value-added content.
MTV's genius was that consumers didn't watch shows: they watched MTV.
Designers refused to crack down on the pirating of their logos for T-shirts and baseball hats in the inner cities and several of them have clearly backed away from serious attempts to curb rampant shoplifting.
Adidas executives were skeptical about being associated with rap music until Russell Simmons took them to a Run-DMC show where the rap group was performing the song My Adidas. One of the members yelled out, "Okay, everybody in the house, rock your Adidas!", and three thousand pairs of sneakers shot in the air. The Adidas executives couldn't reach for their checkbooks fast enough.
Bro-ing: a Nike marketing practice where a person wears an item to the inner city and says "Hey, bro, check this out..."
The mantra of retro entertainment seems to be "Once more with synergy!"
-- Advertising in schools makes me angry. The only way to avoid exposure is not to frequent the institution, which is not a choice children are legally allowed to make. I don't relish the upcoming clash between the morality I'll attempt to teach my children and the insidious branding of the future's White Clowns, because if I lose, I will feel that I have failed as a parent.
According to Rocking the Ages, Diversity was the defining idea for Gen-Xers, as opposed to Individuality for baby boomers and Duty for their parents.
The real question is not "Where do you want to go today?" but "How can I best steer you into my synergized maze of choices?"
Starbucks saturates areas with Starbucks stores until the sales begin to fall and poaches leases from existing coffee shops.
-- These guys are geniuses. They're also referencing the concept of a "brand canopy" - one you can live your whole life under.
-- Disney is the true expert in the brand canopy field. They have Disney for children, Pixar for young adults, and hey - more Disney for adults.
Celebration, Disney's town, is almost Disney-free. Its calm, understated aesthetics are the antithesis of the cartoon world for sale down the freeway at Disney World.
Mergers between companies serving different functions allow one hand to wash the other.
The underlying message that intellectual property laws send is that culture is something that happens to you. It is not something you participate in or have the right to respond to. You can be branded, but you are not allowed to scuff the brand.
Mattel suing Aqua over their Barbie Girl song: "This is a business issue, not a freedom of speech issue. This is a two billion dollar company, and we don't want it messed with, and situations like these gradually lead to brand erosion."
-- Asking the courts to subvert freedom of speech to protect against a possible drop in a $2 billion company's profits? Nice.
Production is now viewed as unimportant, something easily outsourced.
Developing countries create EPZs and compete with each other for investors' favor, which the corporations take full advantage of through tricks like closing and reopening factories under new names.
Making yesterday's casualties tomorrow's wardens is genius.
The "temporary job" mindset employers encourage, allowing them to pay employees less than a living wage, is a product of cost-cutting and wishful thinking.
The fear that the poor will storm the barricades is as old as the castle moat.
The smart jargon now talks of guaranteeing "employability", not "employment", which basically translates into "don't count on us, but we'll help you if we can."
"I get weary and worn down from it all. I'm forced to face the fact that I make my money from poor people. The kid wants a hundred-twenty-buck pair of shoes and that stupid mother buys them for him. I can feel that kid's inner need - the desire to own these things and have the feelings that go with them - but it hurts me that this is the way things are."
For Nike, its $150 Air Jordans are not a shoe but a kind of talisman with which poor kids can run out of the ghetto and better their lives. One can't help thinking that one of the main reasons black urban youth can get only get out of the ghetto by rapping or shooting hoops is that Nike and other multinationals are reinforcing stereotypical images of black youth and simultaneously taking all the jobs away.
A firebomb exploded at a Shell station in Hamburg. "Don't sink the Brent Spar Oil Platform" was the message left behind.
-- bahaha
David Green, senior vice president of marketing at McDonalds, expressed his opinion that Coca-Cola is nutritious because it is "providing water, and I think that is part of a balanced diet."
Ed Oakley, another McDonalds executive, explained that McDonalds garbage stuffed into landfills is "a benefit, otherwise you will end up with lots of vast empty gravel pits all over the country."
You can label clothing "Made in the U.S.A." if it comes from any of the U.S.' territories, not just the 50 states.
There's been historical precedent of organizations, cities, and even states leveraging pressure on corporations to behave ethically through blanket boycotting of those companies' services.
The corporations fight these, however. Shell successfully sued for discrimination based on its not being awarded a gas contract in Vancouver based on its actions in South Africa. The judges' ruling stated that the procurement officials only had the jurisdiction to make procurements based on the concerns of Vancouver residents - not the concerns of people in South Africa.
Resource corporations have no brand associated with their products and are therefore nearly unaffected by detractions from their public image.
No Logo - Naomi Klein
In the early 90's, generic products started increasing in market share - to counter this, ad agencies turned to branding
Parents may have gone bargain basement, but kids, it turned out, were still willing to pay up to fit in. "They run in packs. If you sell to one, you sell to everyone in their class and everyone in their school."
Branding replaces value-added content.
MTV's genius was that consumers didn't watch shows: they watched MTV.
Designers refused to crack down on the pirating of their logos for T-shirts and baseball hats in the inner cities and several of them have clearly backed away from serious attempts to curb rampant shoplifting.
Adidas executives were skeptical about being associated with rap music until Russell Simmons took them to a Run-DMC show where the rap group was performing the song My Adidas. One of the members yelled out, "Okay, everybody in the house, rock your Adidas!", and three thousand pairs of sneakers shot in the air. The Adidas executives couldn't reach for their checkbooks fast enough.
Bro-ing: a Nike marketing practice where a person wears an item to the inner city and says "Hey, bro, check this out..."
The mantra of retro entertainment seems to be "Once more with synergy!"
-- Advertising in schools makes me angry. The only way to avoid exposure is not to frequent the institution, which is not a choice children are legally allowed to make. I don't relish the upcoming clash between the morality I'll attempt to teach my children and the insidious branding of the future's White Clowns, because if I lose, I will feel that I have failed as a parent.
According to Rocking the Ages, Diversity was the defining idea for Gen-Xers, as opposed to Individuality for baby boomers and Duty for their parents.
The real question is not "Where do you want to go today?" but "How can I best steer you into my synergized maze of choices?"
Starbucks saturates areas with Starbucks stores until the sales begin to fall and poaches leases from existing coffee shops.
-- These guys are geniuses. They're also referencing the concept of a "brand canopy" - one you can live your whole life under.
-- Disney is the true expert in the brand canopy field. They have Disney for children, Pixar for young adults, and hey - more Disney for adults.
Celebration, Disney's town, is almost Disney-free. Its calm, understated aesthetics are the antithesis of the cartoon world for sale down the freeway at Disney World.
Mergers between companies serving different functions allow one hand to wash the other.
The underlying message that intellectual property laws send is that culture is something that happens to you. It is not something you participate in or have the right to respond to. You can be branded, but you are not allowed to scuff the brand.
Mattel suing Aqua over their Barbie Girl song: "This is a business issue, not a freedom of speech issue. This is a two billion dollar company, and we don't want it messed with, and situations like these gradually lead to brand erosion."
-- Asking the courts to subvert freedom of speech to protect against a possible drop in a $2 billion company's profits? Nice.
Production is now viewed as unimportant, something easily outsourced.
Developing countries create EPZs and compete with each other for investors' favor, which the corporations take full advantage of through tricks like closing and reopening factories under new names.
Making yesterday's casualties tomorrow's wardens is genius.
The "temporary job" mindset employers encourage, allowing them to pay employees less than a living wage, is a product of cost-cutting and wishful thinking.
The fear that the poor will storm the barricades is as old as the castle moat.
The smart jargon now talks of guaranteeing "employability", not "employment", which basically translates into "don't count on us, but we'll help you if we can."
"I get weary and worn down from it all. I'm forced to face the fact that I make my money from poor people. The kid wants a hundred-twenty-buck pair of shoes and that stupid mother buys them for him. I can feel that kid's inner need - the desire to own these things and have the feelings that go with them - but it hurts me that this is the way things are."
For Nike, its $150 Air Jordans are not a shoe but a kind of talisman with which poor kids can run out of the ghetto and better their lives. One can't help thinking that one of the main reasons black urban youth can get only get out of the ghetto by rapping or shooting hoops is that Nike and other multinationals are reinforcing stereotypical images of black youth and simultaneously taking all the jobs away.
A firebomb exploded at a Shell station in Hamburg. "Don't sink the Brent Spar Oil Platform" was the message left behind.
-- bahaha
David Green, senior vice president of marketing at McDonalds, expressed his opinion that Coca-Cola is nutritious because it is "providing water, and I think that is part of a balanced diet."
Ed Oakley, another McDonalds executive, explained that McDonalds garbage stuffed into landfills is "a benefit, otherwise you will end up with lots of vast empty gravel pits all over the country."
You can label clothing "Made in the U.S.A." if it comes from any of the U.S.' territories, not just the 50 states.
There's been historical precedent of organizations, cities, and even states leveraging pressure on corporations to behave ethically through blanket boycotting of those companies' services.
The corporations fight these, however. Shell successfully sued for discrimination based on its not being awarded a gas contract in Vancouver based on its actions in South Africa. The judges' ruling stated that the procurement officials only had the jurisdiction to make procurements based on the concerns of Vancouver residents - not the concerns of people in South Africa.
Resource corporations have no brand associated with their products and are therefore nearly unaffected by detractions from their public image.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey - ****
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Be proactive
Begin with the end in mind
Put first things first
Think win/win
Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Synergize
Sharpen the saw (increase your capacity for productive action)
If you try to use human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what you want, while your character is fundamentally flawed, in the long run you cannot be successful. Your duplicity will breed distrust, and everything you do will be perceived as manipulative.
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." -- Albert Einstein
Production vs. Production Capability - invest in your future, don't kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, and don't neglect the now for the later.
The determinisms: genetic, psychic, or environmental "excuses"
The stimulus-response cycle is different in humans - it's more like stimulus - perception - response
Reactive people are driven by feelings.
The three types of problems: direct control, indirect control, and no control.
Anytime we think the problem is "out there", that thought is the problem.
-- assume nothing is static about the future
-- avoid conversation in which someone won't be helped
Try the thirty-day test of proactivity
-- reminds me of the "If you can do it for a month, you can do it for the rest of your life" idea
It's easy to climb the ladder of success only to discover it's leaning against the wrong wall.
It's possible to be very busy without being very effective.
-- the Ronald McFondle philosophy: "Take more action. Take more effective action."
Plan things before you do them.
Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.
Develop a personal mission statement:
-- my mission statement:
recognize, influence, and exploit patterns and dynamics for profit
-- to fulfil this mission:
pay attention
stay transcendent
be creative
do my best
reexamine situations periodically
plan
-- these roles take priority in achieving my mission:
renaissance man: have a wide body of knowledge to draw from
observer: be aware of things as they unfold
warrior: take action, be disciplined, vanquish fears
friend: get guidance, opportunities, and assistance from other friends
commander: make plans, exercise leadership, provide oversight
-- this book contains much crowing
ingredients of a good affirmation: personal, positive, present, visual, emotional
step back and use visualization from time to time
What one thing could you do that if you did on a regular basis would make a tremendous positive difference in your personal life?
-- constantly seek to improve everything around me
What one thing in your business or professional life would bring similar results?
-- quickly earn and maintain a reputation as an expert
Successful people have the habit of doing things failures don't like to do.
The time management matrix: classify activities as Important/Not Important and Urgent/Not Urgent
Watch out for misclassifications, and spend time doing important things that aren't urgent.
People get frustrated with their schedules when the schedule won't bend around spontaneous occurences. Weekly planning towards goal accomplishment works better than daily planning.
Effectiveness is substantially more important than efficiency when dealing with people. You can't control how long it takes to bring a person to the point where you want them to be.
Delegation is an important part of both leadership and management.
-- whenever the group acquires an objective, delegate its components
You can't talk your way out of problems you behave yourself into.
The emotional bank account - make deposits exceed withdrawals
-- competition builds strength, cooperation gets results
Types of mindsets:
Win/Lose, Lose/Win, Win/Win, Lose/Lose, compromise (lesser win/win), and Win/Win or No Deal
-- the No Deal option is critically important
High on courage, high on consideration: Win/Win
High on courage, low on consideration: Win/Lose
High on consideration, low on courage: Lose/Win
-- High on unresolved issues: Lose/Lose
Dealing with Win/Lose is the real test of Win/Win.
-- you'd have to draw them out of that mentality: transcend the dynamic
"I can't understand my kid. He just won't listen to me at all."
"You don't understand your son because HE won't listen to YOU?"
-- "He looked into his own head and thought he saw the world." - a good phrase
Satisfied needs do not motivate.
Seek first to understand, then be understood.
When rephrasing what someone said, try not to unconsciously put your own spin onto it.
Recognize and value people's differences.
Force Field Analysis:
The current level of performance is determined by the driving forces that encourage upward movement and the restraining forces that discourage it.
-- this is true and I'm going to exploit the shit out of it
He advises people to read a book a week. I can easily read two or more.
Be a magic mirror - show people what's good about themselves.
"The voice of conscience is so delicate that it is easy to stifle it, but it is so clear that it is impossible to mistake it."
The upward spiral: commit, learn, do.
-- see me there.
Be proactive
Begin with the end in mind
Put first things first
Think win/win
Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Synergize
Sharpen the saw (increase your capacity for productive action)
If you try to use human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what you want, while your character is fundamentally flawed, in the long run you cannot be successful. Your duplicity will breed distrust, and everything you do will be perceived as manipulative.
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." -- Albert Einstein
Production vs. Production Capability - invest in your future, don't kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, and don't neglect the now for the later.
The determinisms: genetic, psychic, or environmental "excuses"
The stimulus-response cycle is different in humans - it's more like stimulus - perception - response
Reactive people are driven by feelings.
The three types of problems: direct control, indirect control, and no control.
Anytime we think the problem is "out there", that thought is the problem.
-- assume nothing is static about the future
-- avoid conversation in which someone won't be helped
Try the thirty-day test of proactivity
-- reminds me of the "If you can do it for a month, you can do it for the rest of your life" idea
It's easy to climb the ladder of success only to discover it's leaning against the wrong wall.
It's possible to be very busy without being very effective.
-- the Ronald McFondle philosophy: "Take more action. Take more effective action."
Plan things before you do them.
Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.
Develop a personal mission statement:
-- my mission statement:
recognize, influence, and exploit patterns and dynamics for profit
-- to fulfil this mission:
pay attention
stay transcendent
be creative
do my best
reexamine situations periodically
plan
-- these roles take priority in achieving my mission:
renaissance man: have a wide body of knowledge to draw from
observer: be aware of things as they unfold
warrior: take action, be disciplined, vanquish fears
friend: get guidance, opportunities, and assistance from other friends
commander: make plans, exercise leadership, provide oversight
-- this book contains much crowing
ingredients of a good affirmation: personal, positive, present, visual, emotional
step back and use visualization from time to time
What one thing could you do that if you did on a regular basis would make a tremendous positive difference in your personal life?
-- constantly seek to improve everything around me
What one thing in your business or professional life would bring similar results?
-- quickly earn and maintain a reputation as an expert
Successful people have the habit of doing things failures don't like to do.
The time management matrix: classify activities as Important/Not Important and Urgent/Not Urgent
Watch out for misclassifications, and spend time doing important things that aren't urgent.
People get frustrated with their schedules when the schedule won't bend around spontaneous occurences. Weekly planning towards goal accomplishment works better than daily planning.
Effectiveness is substantially more important than efficiency when dealing with people. You can't control how long it takes to bring a person to the point where you want them to be.
Delegation is an important part of both leadership and management.
-- whenever the group acquires an objective, delegate its components
You can't talk your way out of problems you behave yourself into.
The emotional bank account - make deposits exceed withdrawals
-- competition builds strength, cooperation gets results
Types of mindsets:
Win/Lose, Lose/Win, Win/Win, Lose/Lose, compromise (lesser win/win), and Win/Win or No Deal
-- the No Deal option is critically important
High on courage, high on consideration: Win/Win
High on courage, low on consideration: Win/Lose
High on consideration, low on courage: Lose/Win
-- High on unresolved issues: Lose/Lose
Dealing with Win/Lose is the real test of Win/Win.
-- you'd have to draw them out of that mentality: transcend the dynamic
"I can't understand my kid. He just won't listen to me at all."
"You don't understand your son because HE won't listen to YOU?"
-- "He looked into his own head and thought he saw the world." - a good phrase
Satisfied needs do not motivate.
Seek first to understand, then be understood.
When rephrasing what someone said, try not to unconsciously put your own spin onto it.
Recognize and value people's differences.
Force Field Analysis:
The current level of performance is determined by the driving forces that encourage upward movement and the restraining forces that discourage it.
-- this is true and I'm going to exploit the shit out of it
He advises people to read a book a week. I can easily read two or more.
Be a magic mirror - show people what's good about themselves.
"The voice of conscience is so delicate that it is easy to stifle it, but it is so clear that it is impossible to mistake it."
The upward spiral: commit, learn, do.
-- see me there.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner - **
Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner
This book is so accessable, its examples so memorable, that I'm not going to need to write down a lot of notes.
I wound up giving it two stars because the critical thinking aspects of the book are largely covered in this half-page of notes.
Introduction:
Incentives are the cornerstone of modern life. Understanding them or ferreting them out is the key to solving just about any riddle.
The conventional wisdom is often wrong.
Dramatic effects often have distant, even subtle causes.
- When people are initially motivated by something other than money, and money then enters the equation, low sums of money will actually make things worse over time.
Roughly half the white women and 80% of white men declared race didn't matter to them on an online dating site. These white men sent 90% of their emails to white women; the white women sent 97% of their emails to white men.
A little creative lying can draw indignation.
As a leader, you have to have yours first: otherwise, people will start to question your position as a leader.
"A distinction without a difference" -- a nice phrase
Given the rarity with which executions are carried out in this country and the long delays in doing so, no reasonable criminal should be deterred by the threat of execution.
-- contrast this with people walking around with a hand cut off, etc.
The broken window theory: the idea that minor nuisances turn into major nuisances if left unchecked.
To an economist, the background check and waiting period before handguns are purchased makes no sense: regulation of a legal market is bound to fail when a healthy black market exists for the same product. . . A study of imprisoned felons showed that even before the Brady Act, only 1/5 of the criminals bought their guns through a licensed dealer.
"If you own a gun and have a swimming pool in your backyard, the swimming pool is about 100 times more likely to kill a child than the gun is."
-- when he explains this it's clear that he failed to take into account the fact that people don't collect swimming pools the way they do guns. A more accurate way to come up with a statistic would have been to divide the number of guns by the average guns per household in the sample size.
The typical parenting expert, like experts in other fields, is prone to sound exceedingly sure of himself. . . an expert whose argument reeks of restraint or nuance often doesn't get much attention.
The risks that scare people and the risks that kill people are often very different.
"Imagine that you are a government official charged with procuring the funds to fight one of two proven killers: terrorist attacks and heart disease. Which cause do you think the members of Congress will open up the coffers for? The likelihood of any given person being killed in a terrorist attack are infinitely smaller than the likelihood that the same person will clog up their arteries with fatty food and die of heart disease..."
Motivation is an indicator of success.
This book is so accessable, its examples so memorable, that I'm not going to need to write down a lot of notes.
I wound up giving it two stars because the critical thinking aspects of the book are largely covered in this half-page of notes.
Introduction:
Incentives are the cornerstone of modern life. Understanding them or ferreting them out is the key to solving just about any riddle.
The conventional wisdom is often wrong.
Dramatic effects often have distant, even subtle causes.
- When people are initially motivated by something other than money, and money then enters the equation, low sums of money will actually make things worse over time.
Roughly half the white women and 80% of white men declared race didn't matter to them on an online dating site. These white men sent 90% of their emails to white women; the white women sent 97% of their emails to white men.
A little creative lying can draw indignation.
As a leader, you have to have yours first: otherwise, people will start to question your position as a leader.
"A distinction without a difference" -- a nice phrase
Given the rarity with which executions are carried out in this country and the long delays in doing so, no reasonable criminal should be deterred by the threat of execution.
-- contrast this with people walking around with a hand cut off, etc.
The broken window theory: the idea that minor nuisances turn into major nuisances if left unchecked.
To an economist, the background check and waiting period before handguns are purchased makes no sense: regulation of a legal market is bound to fail when a healthy black market exists for the same product. . . A study of imprisoned felons showed that even before the Brady Act, only 1/5 of the criminals bought their guns through a licensed dealer.
"If you own a gun and have a swimming pool in your backyard, the swimming pool is about 100 times more likely to kill a child than the gun is."
-- when he explains this it's clear that he failed to take into account the fact that people don't collect swimming pools the way they do guns. A more accurate way to come up with a statistic would have been to divide the number of guns by the average guns per household in the sample size.
The typical parenting expert, like experts in other fields, is prone to sound exceedingly sure of himself. . . an expert whose argument reeks of restraint or nuance often doesn't get much attention.
The risks that scare people and the risks that kill people are often very different.
"Imagine that you are a government official charged with procuring the funds to fight one of two proven killers: terrorist attacks and heart disease. Which cause do you think the members of Congress will open up the coffers for? The likelihood of any given person being killed in a terrorist attack are infinitely smaller than the likelihood that the same person will clog up their arteries with fatty food and die of heart disease..."
Motivation is an indicator of success.
The Demon-Haunted World - Carl Sagan - ***
"As I write, Congress is dissolving its own Office of Technology Assessment -- the only organization specifically tasked to provide advice to the House and Senate on science and technology. Its competence and integrity over the years have been exemplary." - 1995
People try verious belief systems on for size, to see if they fit . . . psuedoscience speaks to powerful emotional needs science often leaves unfilfilled. It caters to fantasies about personal powers we lack and long fore. It offers satisfaction of spiritual hungers, cures for disease, promises that death is not the end.
Perhaps the most successful recent global psuedoscience . . . is the Hindu doctrine of transcendental meditation (TM). . . The worldwide TM organization has an estimated valuation of $3 billion. For a fee they promise through meditation to be able to walk you through walls, to make you invisible, to enable you to fly. By thinking in unison they have, they say, diminished the crime rate in Washington, D.C. and caused the collapse of the Soviet Union, among other secular miracles. Not one smattering of real evidence has been offered for any such claims. TM sells folk medicine, runs trading companies, medical clinics and "research" universities, and has unsuccessfully entered politics.
-- the most successful, huh - I thought they were small-time operators on the cult scale for some reason.
In Russia, under Communism, both religion and psuedoscience were systematically suppressed -- except for the superstition of the state ideological religion. It was advertised as scientific, but fell far short of this ideal as the most unselfcritical mystery cult. . . As a result, post-Communism, many Russians view science with suspicion. . . the region is now awash in UFOs, poltergeists, faith healers, and old-time superstition.
- How We Know What Isn't So: The Fallibility of Human Reason in Everyday Life, Thomas Gilovich
Chapter 2
The dumbing down of America is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media.
Humans may crave absolute certainty. . . but the history of science teaches us that the most we can hope for is successive improvement in our understanding.
-- some time is spent extolling the virtues of science and its superiority over other disciplines, based on its constant questioning of itself
Chapter 3
Each field of science has its own complement of psuedoscience. . . Astronomy has, as its most prominent psuedoscience, astrology - the discipline out of which it emerged.
-- always ask by what process people come to lay claim to nature's intentions
- he cites articles from the Weekly World News as examples of psuedoscientific foolery: does he know what the Weekly World News is?
Chapter 4:
- the crop circle hoax is mentioned
Chapter 5:
After I give lectures - on almost any subject - I'm often asked, "Do you believe in UFOs?" I'm always struck by how the question is phrased, the suggestion that this is a matter of belief and not of evidence. I'm almost never asked, "How good is the evidence that UFOs are alien spaceships?" . . . I've found that the going-in attitude of many people is highly predetermined.
Some of the black-lining in FOIA requests is due to intercepted communications - though the information needs to be revealed, any details regarding its collection are blanked out.
The book of Deuteronomy, in the Bible, was "found" by King Josiah in the middle of a reformation struggle - it confirmed all his views.
Lorenzo of Valla concluded that the Apostles' Creed could not, on grammatical grounds, have been written by the Twelve Apostles.
-- much like my rejection of the Willie Lynch hoax, which led me to research it further
Chapter 6:
- occasionally, people will claim to be in contact with aliens: when Carl Sagan gives them math questions to answer, he never receives a reply, but when he asks questions regarding morality he receives plenty.
- thorazine (and haloperidol) make hallucinations go away
from another site:
Meditation And/Or Sensory Deprivation
When the brain lacks external stimulation to form perceptions, it may compensate by referencing the memory and form hallucinatory perceptions.
It makes good evolutionary sense for children to have fantasies of scary monsters. . . those who are not afraid of monsters tend not to leave descendents.
- only the three or four actual "canals" on Mars ever showed up on photographs: the rest were imaginary
Chapter 7:
Malleus Maleficarum, the "Hammer of Witches": aptly described as one of the most terrifying documents in human history. . . what the Malleus comes down to, pretty much, is that if you're accused of witchcraft, you're a witch.
Witch-hunting in England was profitable. All costs of investigation, trial, and execution were borne by the accused or her relatives. . . one mid-seventeenth-century man confessed he had been the death of above 220 women in England and Scotland, for the gain of twenty shillings apiece.
William Tyndale translated the Bible into English - in thanks, he was captured, garroted, then burned at the stake for good measure. His copies of the New Testament were hunted down house-to-house by armed posses.
There are almost no reports of flying saucers prior to 1947: instead, it was demons and fairies.
The believers [in alien sightings] take the common elements in their stories as tokens of versimilitude, rather than evidence that they have contrived their stories out of a shared culture and biology.
Chapter 8:
The AMA callls memories surfacing under hypnosis less reliable than those recalled without it.
Subjects under hypnosis can as easily recall FUTURE lives as they can past ones.
Unhypnotized subjects can easily be made to believe they saw something they didn't. In a study, subjects are shown a film of a car accident. When questioned about the video, false information is interjected, such as a reference to a nonexistent stop sign. Many subjects then dutifully remember seeing the sign. When the deception is revealed, some vehemently protest, stressing how vividly they remember the sign. . . the psychologist, Elizabeth Loftus, argues that "memories of an event more closely resemble a story undergoing constant revision than a packet of pristine information."
-- that's awesome
President Ronald Reagan, who spent World War II in Hollywood, vividly described his own role in liberating Nazi concentratoin camp victims. Living in the film world, he apparently confused a movie he'd seen with a reality he hadn't. On many occasions in his presidential campaigns, Mr. Reagan told an epic story of World War II courage and sacrifice, an inspiration for all of us. Only it never happened; it was the plot of the movie A Wing and a Prayer.
Legends influence apparitions and vice versa.
Chapter 9:
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. -- Sherlock Holmes
The power or intensity with which something is felt is no guide regarding its truth.
What a more critical mind might recognize as a hallucination or a dream, a more credulous mind interprets as a glimpse of an elusive but profound reality.
Paul Ingram spent fifteen years in prison because he was gullible enough to believe "expert" suggestions that he was denying memories of satanically abusing his daughter.
Chapter 10:
Magic requires cooperation of the audience with the magician.
-- The absence of suitable counterexplanations doesn't make a proposed explanation correct.
The credibility of science is only a consequence of the method.
Carl Jung, regarding people who accept incredible testimony at face value:
"These people are lacking not only in criticism but in the most elementary knowledge of psychology. At bottom they do not want to be taught any better, but merely to go on believing -- surely the naivest of presumptions in view of our human failings."
Chapter 11: Reader Mail
-- Reader mail always baffles me. People are weird and/or retarded.
Chapter 12:
We tell children about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy for reasons we think emotionally sound, but then disabuse them of these myths before they're grown. Why retract? Because their well-being as adults depends on them knowing the world as it really is. We worry, and for good reason, about adults who still believe in Santa Claus.
-- reminds me of the Forestry official who believed that trees were infinite and that if they all were cut down, God would just make more.
Who cares which breakfast cereal has more vitamins when we can take a vitamin pill with breakfast?
There are no authorities in science. At best, there are experts.
Tools for skeptical thinking:
- Independent confirmation of facts
- Substantive debate by knowledgeable proponents
- Multiple hypotheses: how ELSE could that have happened?
- Compare your hypothesis fairly with the alternatives
- Think of the ways your hypothesis could be rejected
- Quantify
- Make sure every link in an argument chain works
- Use Occam's Razor
- Never entertain untestable propositions
- Use carefully designed and controlled experiments
Logical fallacies:
ad hominem (to the man): attacking the arguer, not the argument
non sequitur (it doesn't follow): reaching a conclusion from facts that one can't logically reach
correlation implying causation (post hoc, ergo propter hoc)
argument from authority
argument from consequences
appeal to ignorance: if it can't be disproved, it must be true, right?
special pleading: any "technical" non-explanation
begging the question (assuming the answer): relying on an unproven premise
observational selection: seeing the roses and not the thistles
statistics of small numbers
misunderstanding statistics
meaningless question
false dichotomy: splitting a situation into two choices, at least one of them a straw man
short-term vs. long-term false dichotomy: the belief that a solution to one renders impossible the solution to another
slippery slope
straw man: caricaturing a position to make it easier to attack
bogus evidence
weasel words
-- I'll add statistical extrapolation to that mix: the idea that the current trends will continue, at the projected, into the future.
absence of evidence is not evidence of absence
There are many brands of low-tar cigarettes. Why is low-tar a virtue? Because the refractory tars are where polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons and some other carcinogens are concentrated. Aren't the low-tar ads a tacit admission by the tobacco companies that cigarettes indeed cause cancer?
Chapter 13:
A man who sees evidence that his ship is unsound and tricks himself into believing that everything's fine is guilty of causing the deaths of the men aboard that ship when it goes down.
-- Don't care whether or not someone believes, care about the evidence on which their belief stands.
In his brief list of psuedoscience and superstition he mentions four things I found interesting:
- that flatworms who know a task can be fed to other flatworms, which can then do the task -- I'd heard of this one
- Facilitated Communications -- this one could easily be scientifically tested, I'd still try it if my child was autistic
- more crimes being committed when the moon is full -- that one made sense to me, but it needs more empirical research I think
- the secret life of plants book, though I learned that was written by a crackpot well before reading this
- you can stop your pulse by holding a ball in your armpit and squeezing
Nearly half of all Americans believe there is such a thing as psychic or spiritual healing.
-- reminds me of George Carlin's line, something to the tune of: "What are you people, stupid?"
When a child's spleen is ruptured, perform a simple surgical operation and the child is completely better. Take that child to a faith healer and she's dead in a day.
"Carlos", a hoax staged by James Randi in Australia, was pretty badass - they said this kid could channel a dead spirit, used completely unverifiable sources, and the media and countryside ate it up. Once it was revealed as a hoax, people felt betrayed, but justified their behavior.
What a medium needs is darkness and gullibilty.
A scientist places an ad in a Paris newspaper offering a free horoscope. He sends 150 people the horoscope of a serial killer, along with a questionnaire regarding accuracy. 94% of the respondents, as well as 90% of their family and friends, reply that they were recognizable in the horoscope.
-- 94% of respondents? I think people who thought it was inaccurate would be more likely to throw the horoscope away than mail in its questionnaire.
- it talks about cold reading, which is cool, and the list of "evidence" for disorders, which is not so cool
Chapter 14:
The rate of change in science is responsible for some of the fire it draws. Just as we've finally understood something the scientists are talking about, they tell us it isn't true.
-- as opposed to other "pathways of knowledge", which reinterpret, realign, and deny erroneous beliefs in efforts to maintain their claim to truth
- scientists have human failings, but to refute their discoveries based on those is an ad hominem attack
Chapter 15:
Societies that teach contentment with one's present station in life, in expectation of post-mortem reward, inoculate themselves against revolution.
-- How can the Human Genome Project call itself complete when they've sequenced 92% of the genes from no more than 10 people?
By making pronouncements that are, even if only in principle, testable, religions however unwillingly enter the arena of science. . . this, in turn, has infuriated the followers of some religions.
- The Roman Catholic Church didn't admit that the Earth revolved around the Sun until 1992?
Chapter 16:
The Spanish Inquisition sought to avoid direct responsibility for the burning of heretics by handing them over to the secular arm; to burn them itself, it piously explained, would be wholly inconsistent with its Christian principles.
"Absolute secrecy corrupts absolutely": CIA Inspector General, 1995
Open and vigorous debate is often the only protection against the most perilous misuse of technology.
What realm of human behavior is not morally ambiguous? Consider aphorisms: Haste makes waste, but a stich in time saves nine. Better safe then sorry, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Where there's smoke there's fire, but you can't tell a book by its cover. . . there was a time when people planned or justified their actions on the basis of such contradictory platitudes.
-- That time's not over: "No apologies, no regrets"
-- you have to read between the lines on these: the sum of these aphorisms isn't zero.
Chapter 17:
Because its explanatory power is so great, once you get the hang of scientific reasoning you're eager to apply it everywhere.
We cannot have science in bits and pieces, applying it where we feel safe and ignoring it where we feel threatened.
Societies with a supreme god who lives in the sky tend to be the most ferocious, though this is a statistical correlation only.
Many psuedoscientific and New Age belief systems emerge out of dissatisfaction with conventional values and perspectives -- and are therefore themselves a kind of skepticism.
-- the trashing of Western medicine by Ayur-Ved enthusiasts
If you're only skeptical, no new ideas make it through to you. You never learn anything. You become a crotchety misanthrope convinced that nonsense is ruling the world. (There is, of course, much data to support you.)
-- hah
It means nothing to be open to a proposition you don't understand.
Chapter 18:
Factors contributing to the development of the scientific method in Greece:
- The assembly, where men learned to persuade each other through rational debate
- A maritime economy that prevented isolation and parochialism
- A widespread Greek-speaking world around which travelers and scholars could wander
- An independent merchant class that could hire its own teachers.
- The Iliad and the Odyssey
- A literary religion not dominated by priests - ???
- The persistence of these factors for 1,000 years
In cultures lacking unfamiliar challenges, where fundamental change is unneeded, novel ideas need not be encouraged. Indeed, heresies can be declared dangerous.
Thales - the philosopher who, when ridiculed for his poverty, used his climatological skills to form a monopoly on olive presses and make a killing
Eratosthenes - the guy who measured the circumference of the Earth from the shadows cast by the wells
Empedocles: a guy who proved that air isn't just empty space - he also came up with his own version of evolutionary theory
Chapter 19:
When what needs to be learned changes quickly, especially in the course of a single generation, it becomes harder to know what to teach and how to teach it. Students complain about relevance; respect for their elders diminishes.
-- easily solved by teaching the present method while explaining the past methods it was built upon
- he talks about how high schoolers are surly and don't want to ask questions: a phenomenon I observed immediately when I switched to public school
I find many adults are put off when young children pose scientific questions. . . why adults should pretend to be omniscient before 6-year-olds, I can't for the life of me understand. . . is our self-esteem so fragile?
Sixty-three percent of American adults are unaware that the last dinosaur died before the first human arose.
-- 63 as in 63 MILLION YEARS! AGO! - thanks, Bill Nye, for telling me when the dinosaurs died
-- er, wait: 65 MILLION YEARS! AGO! - my mistake, stupid fallible memory
75% don't know that antibiotics kill bacteria but not viruses.
-- I didn't know that, but now that I think about it, I don't really know what a virus is. *research*
-- ...they're basically just wandering gene transmitters that infect and reproduce... very weird
57% don't know that electrons are smaller than atoms.
-- I would have had to think about that for a second, but since I know atoms have electrons, protons, and neutrons, I would've (or should've) gotten that one right.
These are typical questions in "scientific literacy". The results are appalling. But what do they measure? The memorization of authoritative pronouncements. What they SHOULD be asking is HOW WE KNOW these things. . . such questions are a much truer measure of public understanding of science.
-- well thought
Chapter 21:
- There's a good story about Frederick Douglass here.
Chapter 22:
- he talks about the networks claiming The Flintstones has educational value. Also, he mentions The X Files, and suggests, half tongue-in-cheek, that it be replaced by a show in which the paranormal claims turn out to be explainable under skeptical scrutiny
The United States may be the best-entertained nation on Earth, but a steep price is being paid.
Chapter 23:
- the Westminister project: Queen Victoria's idea, in 1860, to fund the invention of television.
- the nature of spin-off scientific discoveries resulting from curiousity preclude an entirely market-driven approach to scientific funding
Chapter 24:
The ink was barely dry on the Bill of Rights before politicians found a way to subvert it -- by cashing in on fear and patriotic hysteria.
-- USA PATRIOT ACT NOW A PERMANENT LAW, NO KNOWN ABUSES FOUND
Exploiting tensions between France and the U.S., and a widespread fear that French and Irish immigrants were somehow intrinsically unfit to be Americans, the Federalists passed a set of laws that have come to be known as the Alien and Sedition Acts. . . the Alien Act gave President John Adams the power to deport any foreigner who aroused his suspicions. . . the Sedition Act made it unlawful to publish "false or malicious" criticism of the government or to inspire opposition to any of its acts.
As soon as Thomas Jefferson was elected - in the first week of his presidency in 1801 - he began pardoning every victim of the Sedition Act because, he said, it was as contrary to the spirit of American freedoms as if Congress had ordered us all to fall down and worship a golden calf. By 1802, none of the Alien and Sedition Acts remained on the books.
-- can such a thing happen in our age?
Whatever the problem, the quick fix is to shave a little freedom off the Bill of Rights. Yes, in 1942, Japanese-Americans were protected by the Bill of Rights, but we locked them up anyway -- after all, there was a war on. Yes, there are Constitutional prohibitions against unreasonable search and seizure, but we have a war on drugs and violent crime is racing out of control. . . the pretexts change from year to year, but the result remains the same.
Chapter 25:
There is no nation on Earth today optimized for the middle of the twenty-first century.
Most of us are for freedom of expression when there's a danger that our own views will be suppressed. We're not all that upset, though, when views we despise encounter a little censorship here and there.
The book mentions the "Those who would trade liberty for security deserve neither" quote, but attributes it to J.S. Mill instead of Ben Franklin. Probably a mistake, since Franklin died before J.S. Mill was born.
In every country, we should be teaching our children the scientific method and the reasons for a Bill of Rights.
People try verious belief systems on for size, to see if they fit . . . psuedoscience speaks to powerful emotional needs science often leaves unfilfilled. It caters to fantasies about personal powers we lack and long fore. It offers satisfaction of spiritual hungers, cures for disease, promises that death is not the end.
Perhaps the most successful recent global psuedoscience . . . is the Hindu doctrine of transcendental meditation (TM). . . The worldwide TM organization has an estimated valuation of $3 billion. For a fee they promise through meditation to be able to walk you through walls, to make you invisible, to enable you to fly. By thinking in unison they have, they say, diminished the crime rate in Washington, D.C. and caused the collapse of the Soviet Union, among other secular miracles. Not one smattering of real evidence has been offered for any such claims. TM sells folk medicine, runs trading companies, medical clinics and "research" universities, and has unsuccessfully entered politics.
-- the most successful, huh - I thought they were small-time operators on the cult scale for some reason.
In Russia, under Communism, both religion and psuedoscience were systematically suppressed -- except for the superstition of the state ideological religion. It was advertised as scientific, but fell far short of this ideal as the most unselfcritical mystery cult. . . As a result, post-Communism, many Russians view science with suspicion. . . the region is now awash in UFOs, poltergeists, faith healers, and old-time superstition.
- How We Know What Isn't So: The Fallibility of Human Reason in Everyday Life, Thomas Gilovich
Chapter 2
The dumbing down of America is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media.
Humans may crave absolute certainty. . . but the history of science teaches us that the most we can hope for is successive improvement in our understanding.
-- some time is spent extolling the virtues of science and its superiority over other disciplines, based on its constant questioning of itself
Chapter 3
Each field of science has its own complement of psuedoscience. . . Astronomy has, as its most prominent psuedoscience, astrology - the discipline out of which it emerged.
-- always ask by what process people come to lay claim to nature's intentions
- he cites articles from the Weekly World News as examples of psuedoscientific foolery: does he know what the Weekly World News is?
Chapter 4:
- the crop circle hoax is mentioned
Chapter 5:
After I give lectures - on almost any subject - I'm often asked, "Do you believe in UFOs?" I'm always struck by how the question is phrased, the suggestion that this is a matter of belief and not of evidence. I'm almost never asked, "How good is the evidence that UFOs are alien spaceships?" . . . I've found that the going-in attitude of many people is highly predetermined.
Some of the black-lining in FOIA requests is due to intercepted communications - though the information needs to be revealed, any details regarding its collection are blanked out.
The book of Deuteronomy, in the Bible, was "found" by King Josiah in the middle of a reformation struggle - it confirmed all his views.
Lorenzo of Valla concluded that the Apostles' Creed could not, on grammatical grounds, have been written by the Twelve Apostles.
-- much like my rejection of the Willie Lynch hoax, which led me to research it further
Chapter 6:
- occasionally, people will claim to be in contact with aliens: when Carl Sagan gives them math questions to answer, he never receives a reply, but when he asks questions regarding morality he receives plenty.
- thorazine (and haloperidol) make hallucinations go away
from another site:
Meditation And/Or Sensory Deprivation
When the brain lacks external stimulation to form perceptions, it may compensate by referencing the memory and form hallucinatory perceptions.
It makes good evolutionary sense for children to have fantasies of scary monsters. . . those who are not afraid of monsters tend not to leave descendents.
- only the three or four actual "canals" on Mars ever showed up on photographs: the rest were imaginary
Chapter 7:
Malleus Maleficarum, the "Hammer of Witches": aptly described as one of the most terrifying documents in human history. . . what the Malleus comes down to, pretty much, is that if you're accused of witchcraft, you're a witch.
Witch-hunting in England was profitable. All costs of investigation, trial, and execution were borne by the accused or her relatives. . . one mid-seventeenth-century man confessed he had been the death of above 220 women in England and Scotland, for the gain of twenty shillings apiece.
William Tyndale translated the Bible into English - in thanks, he was captured, garroted, then burned at the stake for good measure. His copies of the New Testament were hunted down house-to-house by armed posses.
There are almost no reports of flying saucers prior to 1947: instead, it was demons and fairies.
The believers [in alien sightings] take the common elements in their stories as tokens of versimilitude, rather than evidence that they have contrived their stories out of a shared culture and biology.
Chapter 8:
The AMA callls memories surfacing under hypnosis less reliable than those recalled without it.
Subjects under hypnosis can as easily recall FUTURE lives as they can past ones.
Unhypnotized subjects can easily be made to believe they saw something they didn't. In a study, subjects are shown a film of a car accident. When questioned about the video, false information is interjected, such as a reference to a nonexistent stop sign. Many subjects then dutifully remember seeing the sign. When the deception is revealed, some vehemently protest, stressing how vividly they remember the sign. . . the psychologist, Elizabeth Loftus, argues that "memories of an event more closely resemble a story undergoing constant revision than a packet of pristine information."
-- that's awesome
President Ronald Reagan, who spent World War II in Hollywood, vividly described his own role in liberating Nazi concentratoin camp victims. Living in the film world, he apparently confused a movie he'd seen with a reality he hadn't. On many occasions in his presidential campaigns, Mr. Reagan told an epic story of World War II courage and sacrifice, an inspiration for all of us. Only it never happened; it was the plot of the movie A Wing and a Prayer.
Legends influence apparitions and vice versa.
Chapter 9:
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. -- Sherlock Holmes
The power or intensity with which something is felt is no guide regarding its truth.
What a more critical mind might recognize as a hallucination or a dream, a more credulous mind interprets as a glimpse of an elusive but profound reality.
Paul Ingram spent fifteen years in prison because he was gullible enough to believe "expert" suggestions that he was denying memories of satanically abusing his daughter.
Chapter 10:
Magic requires cooperation of the audience with the magician.
-- The absence of suitable counterexplanations doesn't make a proposed explanation correct.
The credibility of science is only a consequence of the method.
Carl Jung, regarding people who accept incredible testimony at face value:
"These people are lacking not only in criticism but in the most elementary knowledge of psychology. At bottom they do not want to be taught any better, but merely to go on believing -- surely the naivest of presumptions in view of our human failings."
Chapter 11: Reader Mail
-- Reader mail always baffles me. People are weird and/or retarded.
Chapter 12:
We tell children about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy for reasons we think emotionally sound, but then disabuse them of these myths before they're grown. Why retract? Because their well-being as adults depends on them knowing the world as it really is. We worry, and for good reason, about adults who still believe in Santa Claus.
-- reminds me of the Forestry official who believed that trees were infinite and that if they all were cut down, God would just make more.
Who cares which breakfast cereal has more vitamins when we can take a vitamin pill with breakfast?
There are no authorities in science. At best, there are experts.
Tools for skeptical thinking:
- Independent confirmation of facts
- Substantive debate by knowledgeable proponents
- Multiple hypotheses: how ELSE could that have happened?
- Compare your hypothesis fairly with the alternatives
- Think of the ways your hypothesis could be rejected
- Quantify
- Make sure every link in an argument chain works
- Use Occam's Razor
- Never entertain untestable propositions
- Use carefully designed and controlled experiments
Logical fallacies:
ad hominem (to the man): attacking the arguer, not the argument
non sequitur (it doesn't follow): reaching a conclusion from facts that one can't logically reach
correlation implying causation (post hoc, ergo propter hoc)
argument from authority
argument from consequences
appeal to ignorance: if it can't be disproved, it must be true, right?
special pleading: any "technical" non-explanation
begging the question (assuming the answer): relying on an unproven premise
observational selection: seeing the roses and not the thistles
statistics of small numbers
misunderstanding statistics
meaningless question
false dichotomy: splitting a situation into two choices, at least one of them a straw man
short-term vs. long-term false dichotomy: the belief that a solution to one renders impossible the solution to another
slippery slope
straw man: caricaturing a position to make it easier to attack
bogus evidence
weasel words
-- I'll add statistical extrapolation to that mix: the idea that the current trends will continue, at the projected, into the future.
absence of evidence is not evidence of absence
There are many brands of low-tar cigarettes. Why is low-tar a virtue? Because the refractory tars are where polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons and some other carcinogens are concentrated. Aren't the low-tar ads a tacit admission by the tobacco companies that cigarettes indeed cause cancer?
Chapter 13:
A man who sees evidence that his ship is unsound and tricks himself into believing that everything's fine is guilty of causing the deaths of the men aboard that ship when it goes down.
-- Don't care whether or not someone believes, care about the evidence on which their belief stands.
In his brief list of psuedoscience and superstition he mentions four things I found interesting:
- that flatworms who know a task can be fed to other flatworms, which can then do the task -- I'd heard of this one
- Facilitated Communications -- this one could easily be scientifically tested, I'd still try it if my child was autistic
- more crimes being committed when the moon is full -- that one made sense to me, but it needs more empirical research I think
- the secret life of plants book, though I learned that was written by a crackpot well before reading this
- you can stop your pulse by holding a ball in your armpit and squeezing
Nearly half of all Americans believe there is such a thing as psychic or spiritual healing.
-- reminds me of George Carlin's line, something to the tune of: "What are you people, stupid?"
When a child's spleen is ruptured, perform a simple surgical operation and the child is completely better. Take that child to a faith healer and she's dead in a day.
"Carlos", a hoax staged by James Randi in Australia, was pretty badass - they said this kid could channel a dead spirit, used completely unverifiable sources, and the media and countryside ate it up. Once it was revealed as a hoax, people felt betrayed, but justified their behavior.
What a medium needs is darkness and gullibilty.
A scientist places an ad in a Paris newspaper offering a free horoscope. He sends 150 people the horoscope of a serial killer, along with a questionnaire regarding accuracy. 94% of the respondents, as well as 90% of their family and friends, reply that they were recognizable in the horoscope.
-- 94% of respondents? I think people who thought it was inaccurate would be more likely to throw the horoscope away than mail in its questionnaire.
- it talks about cold reading, which is cool, and the list of "evidence" for disorders, which is not so cool
Chapter 14:
The rate of change in science is responsible for some of the fire it draws. Just as we've finally understood something the scientists are talking about, they tell us it isn't true.
-- as opposed to other "pathways of knowledge", which reinterpret, realign, and deny erroneous beliefs in efforts to maintain their claim to truth
- scientists have human failings, but to refute their discoveries based on those is an ad hominem attack
Chapter 15:
Societies that teach contentment with one's present station in life, in expectation of post-mortem reward, inoculate themselves against revolution.
-- How can the Human Genome Project call itself complete when they've sequenced 92% of the genes from no more than 10 people?
By making pronouncements that are, even if only in principle, testable, religions however unwillingly enter the arena of science. . . this, in turn, has infuriated the followers of some religions.
- The Roman Catholic Church didn't admit that the Earth revolved around the Sun until 1992?
Chapter 16:
The Spanish Inquisition sought to avoid direct responsibility for the burning of heretics by handing them over to the secular arm; to burn them itself, it piously explained, would be wholly inconsistent with its Christian principles.
"Absolute secrecy corrupts absolutely": CIA Inspector General, 1995
Open and vigorous debate is often the only protection against the most perilous misuse of technology.
What realm of human behavior is not morally ambiguous? Consider aphorisms: Haste makes waste, but a stich in time saves nine. Better safe then sorry, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Where there's smoke there's fire, but you can't tell a book by its cover. . . there was a time when people planned or justified their actions on the basis of such contradictory platitudes.
-- That time's not over: "No apologies, no regrets"
-- you have to read between the lines on these: the sum of these aphorisms isn't zero.
Chapter 17:
Because its explanatory power is so great, once you get the hang of scientific reasoning you're eager to apply it everywhere.
We cannot have science in bits and pieces, applying it where we feel safe and ignoring it where we feel threatened.
Societies with a supreme god who lives in the sky tend to be the most ferocious, though this is a statistical correlation only.
Many psuedoscientific and New Age belief systems emerge out of dissatisfaction with conventional values and perspectives -- and are therefore themselves a kind of skepticism.
-- the trashing of Western medicine by Ayur-Ved enthusiasts
If you're only skeptical, no new ideas make it through to you. You never learn anything. You become a crotchety misanthrope convinced that nonsense is ruling the world. (There is, of course, much data to support you.)
-- hah
It means nothing to be open to a proposition you don't understand.
Chapter 18:
Factors contributing to the development of the scientific method in Greece:
- The assembly, where men learned to persuade each other through rational debate
- A maritime economy that prevented isolation and parochialism
- A widespread Greek-speaking world around which travelers and scholars could wander
- An independent merchant class that could hire its own teachers.
- The Iliad and the Odyssey
- A literary religion not dominated by priests - ???
- The persistence of these factors for 1,000 years
In cultures lacking unfamiliar challenges, where fundamental change is unneeded, novel ideas need not be encouraged. Indeed, heresies can be declared dangerous.
Thales - the philosopher who, when ridiculed for his poverty, used his climatological skills to form a monopoly on olive presses and make a killing
Eratosthenes - the guy who measured the circumference of the Earth from the shadows cast by the wells
Empedocles: a guy who proved that air isn't just empty space - he also came up with his own version of evolutionary theory
Chapter 19:
When what needs to be learned changes quickly, especially in the course of a single generation, it becomes harder to know what to teach and how to teach it. Students complain about relevance; respect for their elders diminishes.
-- easily solved by teaching the present method while explaining the past methods it was built upon
- he talks about how high schoolers are surly and don't want to ask questions: a phenomenon I observed immediately when I switched to public school
I find many adults are put off when young children pose scientific questions. . . why adults should pretend to be omniscient before 6-year-olds, I can't for the life of me understand. . . is our self-esteem so fragile?
Sixty-three percent of American adults are unaware that the last dinosaur died before the first human arose.
-- 63 as in 63 MILLION YEARS! AGO! - thanks, Bill Nye, for telling me when the dinosaurs died
-- er, wait: 65 MILLION YEARS! AGO! - my mistake, stupid fallible memory
75% don't know that antibiotics kill bacteria but not viruses.
-- I didn't know that, but now that I think about it, I don't really know what a virus is. *research*
-- ...they're basically just wandering gene transmitters that infect and reproduce... very weird
57% don't know that electrons are smaller than atoms.
-- I would have had to think about that for a second, but since I know atoms have electrons, protons, and neutrons, I would've (or should've) gotten that one right.
These are typical questions in "scientific literacy". The results are appalling. But what do they measure? The memorization of authoritative pronouncements. What they SHOULD be asking is HOW WE KNOW these things. . . such questions are a much truer measure of public understanding of science.
-- well thought
Chapter 21:
- There's a good story about Frederick Douglass here.
Chapter 22:
- he talks about the networks claiming The Flintstones has educational value. Also, he mentions The X Files, and suggests, half tongue-in-cheek, that it be replaced by a show in which the paranormal claims turn out to be explainable under skeptical scrutiny
The United States may be the best-entertained nation on Earth, but a steep price is being paid.
Chapter 23:
- the Westminister project: Queen Victoria's idea, in 1860, to fund the invention of television.
- the nature of spin-off scientific discoveries resulting from curiousity preclude an entirely market-driven approach to scientific funding
Chapter 24:
The ink was barely dry on the Bill of Rights before politicians found a way to subvert it -- by cashing in on fear and patriotic hysteria.
-- USA PATRIOT ACT NOW A PERMANENT LAW, NO KNOWN ABUSES FOUND
Exploiting tensions between France and the U.S., and a widespread fear that French and Irish immigrants were somehow intrinsically unfit to be Americans, the Federalists passed a set of laws that have come to be known as the Alien and Sedition Acts. . . the Alien Act gave President John Adams the power to deport any foreigner who aroused his suspicions. . . the Sedition Act made it unlawful to publish "false or malicious" criticism of the government or to inspire opposition to any of its acts.
As soon as Thomas Jefferson was elected - in the first week of his presidency in 1801 - he began pardoning every victim of the Sedition Act because, he said, it was as contrary to the spirit of American freedoms as if Congress had ordered us all to fall down and worship a golden calf. By 1802, none of the Alien and Sedition Acts remained on the books.
-- can such a thing happen in our age?
Whatever the problem, the quick fix is to shave a little freedom off the Bill of Rights. Yes, in 1942, Japanese-Americans were protected by the Bill of Rights, but we locked them up anyway -- after all, there was a war on. Yes, there are Constitutional prohibitions against unreasonable search and seizure, but we have a war on drugs and violent crime is racing out of control. . . the pretexts change from year to year, but the result remains the same.
Chapter 25:
There is no nation on Earth today optimized for the middle of the twenty-first century.
Most of us are for freedom of expression when there's a danger that our own views will be suppressed. We're not all that upset, though, when views we despise encounter a little censorship here and there.
The book mentions the "Those who would trade liberty for security deserve neither" quote, but attributes it to J.S. Mill instead of Ben Franklin. Probably a mistake, since Franklin died before J.S. Mill was born.
In every country, we should be teaching our children the scientific method and the reasons for a Bill of Rights.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
The 48 Laws of Power -- Robert Greene - ****
The 48 Laws of Power - Robert Greene
-- though repulsive, manipulation exists as a discipline because of its effectiveness. I agree to read this believing I can control the level of sleaze I bring to the table.
Never outshine the master:
- "Masters" care about their name and their glory, little else
- if you can help him in the eyes of others, he will want to help you
- there is nothing to fear from outshining a falling star
-- remember the reincarnation model of business: if you don't like one "master", you can pursue other opportunities
Never put too much trust in friends, learn to how to use enemies:
- keep friends for friendship, but work with the skilled and competent
- conflict and competition keep people sharp -- rivalries?
- note that friends, not enemies, are willing to take chances on you
- never be upset by an enemy's presence - be ready to battle
Conceal your intentions:
- honesty is likely to offend people: it's much more prudent to tailor your words
- by being open you allow familiarity, which can lead to contempt
- the best deceivers cultivate an air of honesty in one area to disguise their dishonesty in others: the #2 in Winning Through Intimidation, who I despise
- create patterns of actions on which people can attempt to predict your behavior: use them until you see fit to break them
- if you get caught deceiving people, admit that's something you do, and don't try to be "honest" about it
In 1711, the Duke of Marlborough, head of the English army, wanted to destroy a key French fort protecting a vital thoroughfare into France. He knew that if he destroyed it, the French would realize what he wanted -- to advance down that road. So, he captured the fort, and garrisoned it with some of his troops, making it appear as if he wanted it for some purpose of his own. When the French attacked the fort, the Duke let them recapture it. Once they had it back, THEY destroyed it, figuring the duke had wanted it for some important reason -- now, with the fort gone and the road unprotected, Marlborough could easily march into France.
Always say less than necessary:
-- this is very, very good advice: people like to "fill in the gaps", and if you don't leave any, that rarely matters
-- "It is better to be silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." -- the default thought is that one's NOT a fool, which makes choosing your words wisely even more appealing
-- when you have to speak up, make your point quickly - or "yammer"
So much depends on reputation -- guard it with your life:
- do not get angry or defensive at slander: that reveals insecurity, not confidence
- if your reputation is stained, associate yourself with an honorable person
Win through your actions, never through argument:
-- people's egos have a vested interest in their not being "wrong"
-- starting an argument is a good way to yammer your way out of trouble
Infection: Avoid the unhappy and unlucky:
-- if power is your goal, don't personally identify with unfortunate people's problems or agendas
- the people you associate with are key: look for ones with good cheer, intelligence, and successes
- never associate with people who share your defects - they will reinforce everything that holds you back.
Learn to keep people dependent on you:
-- if you want the power they can bring you, sure
- to do this, you need a skill that sets you apart from the crowd
Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim:
- One sincere and honest move will cover dozens of dishonest ones.
- If you're known to be dishonest, don't paint people an honest picture - leave a gap for them to fill in
When asking for help, appeal to people's self-interest, never to their mercy or gratitude:
-- this is excellent advice, people hate feeling beholden to a past that serves them no present utility
- some people see appeals to self-interest as ignoble, ugly: these people will take any opportunity to feel superior through charity
Crush your enemy totally:
-- dominance can only be established if the fight is one-sided: even if you don't hold all the cards, pretend to
-- this advice was more applicable to people who lived in days where people actually had enemies - you can deal with troublesome people these days by ruining their reputations and yammering
Use absence to increase respect and honor:
- people want what's scarce and what's desired
- this technique only works once a certain level of power has been attained - use it too early and be forgotten
Keep others in suspended terror: cultivate an air of unpredictability
-- not letting other people know what you're going to do is an excellent barrier to familiarity and its impositions
-- established patterns should be reserved for friends - positive patterns of support - or for people who have clear need of boundaries
Do not build fortresses to protect yourself -- isolation is dangerous:
- Isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from. It cuts you off from valuable information. It makes you conspicuous and an easy target.
- To make yourself powerful you must place yourself at the center of things.
- When you feel the need for isolation, only take small breaks.
Know who you're dealing with: do not offend the wrong person:
5 types of people not to offend:
Arrogant and proud man: Don't bother trying to extract anything from him; whatever you're hoping for isn't worth it.
Hopelessly insecure man: This man will bite you, nibble by passive-aggressive nibble.
Mr. Suspicion: The least dangerous, he sees the worst in other people - you can turn him against others to your benefit if need be.
The serpent with a long memory: If hurt or deceived, this man will calculate and wait, then turn the tables with cold-blooded shrewdness. Recognize this man by his cunning and coldness, and if you have somehow injured him, either crush him completely or get him out of your sight. -- as one of these serpents, I'd amend that to read "get yourself out of his sight".
The plain, unassuming, often unintelligent man: This man lacks a sense of possible reward and wants no part of risk - he won't hurt you, but you'll get nothing out of him. Utterly literal reactions to jokes and stories are indicators of this type.
- there is nothing to be gained by insulting a person unnecessarily
- before you make a move, test the waters, and never rely on your instincts
- never trust appearances, and never trust the version people give of themselves
-- tell people your deeds, never your personality
Do not commit to anyone:
-- what this is really saying is "Don't take sides", which is good advice assuming you retain enough mastery of the situation to avoid being caught in the crossfire
- the powerful will take you over, the weak will wear you down
- holding back from the fray allows you time to position yourself to take advantage of the situation once one side starts to lose.
- if you play too many parties against each other, they'll see through your maneuvers and gang up on you.
- you may find it worthwhile to commit to one side, if only for appearances' sake - to prove you are capable of attachment
Castruccio Castracani, ruler of the Italian town of Lucca, had designs on the town of Pistoia. A siege would have been expensive, but Castruccio knew Pistoia contained two rival factions, the Blacks and the Whites, which hated one another. He negotiated with the Blacks, promising to help them against the Whites; then, without their knowledge, he promised the Whites he would help them against the Blacks. He sent armies to both Black and White-controlled gates - once the armies were allowed entry, he united them in the city, occupied the town, killed the leaders of both factions, ended the war, and took the city as his own.
Use the surrender tactic: Transform weakness into power:
- Never fight a battle you can't win. Never be a martyr.
- Never genuinely surrender. -- I, the serpent-with-a-long-memory type, would need to be crushed as was advised. Events may shake me, but as soon as that stops, I start scheming.
Concentrate your forces:
- find a cash cow
- Sun Tzu: If you are not in danger, do not fight.
- be prepared for the day your cash cow fails
Play the perfect courtier:
- arrange to be noticed
- rarely ask those above you for favors
- be a source of pleasure
Re-create yourself:
- do not accept the roles that society foists upon you
Keep your hands clean:
- use scapegoats
- use associates or a subordinate to hook yourself up with your primary targets
-- matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match
Play on people's need to believe to create a cultlike following:
- keep things vague and simple
- emphasize the visual and sensual over the intellectual
Enter action with boldness:
- if you're small, attack large targets - you have little to lose and lots to gain
- boldness is not a strategy: it is a tactic
- "I tell you on behalf of women: there is not one of us who does not prefer a little rough handling to too much consideration." -- Ninon de Lenclos
- "We would willingly say to you men, 'Ah, in pity's name do not suppose us to be so very virtuous: you are forcing us to have too much of it. . ." -- Ninon de Lenclos
Plan all the way to the end:
- those without a concrete idea of their goal always hunger for more
- plan in detail before you act
Make your accomplishments seem effortless:
- avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work
- teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you
- what is understandable is not awe-inspiring
Control the options: get others to play with the cards you deal
- use biased multiple choice
- use reverse psychology
- people take ego-ownership of their choices, so you're less likely to suffer normal repercussions
- sometimes offering people choices can backfire: left to their own devices, they'll think of things you never could have
-- don't let yourself get caught between two undesirable choices, evade by recognizing them and pursuing your own options
Play to people's fantasies:
-- take no action without considering the logistics of the fantasies others lay out for you
- never be direct in describing a fantasy: keep it vague
- don't get close to the place where you're expected to produce results until you're prepared to produce them - even then, they may be displeasing
Discover each man's thumbscrew:
- everyone has a weakness
- overt traits often conceal their opposites
- the inner child, the void, the weak link, the prominent emotion
- when searching for suckers, always look for the dissatisfied, the unhappy, the insecure
-- translation: get yourself out of the sucker pool by being satisfied, happy, and secure
-- be the quality others want to embody
Be royal in your own fashion: Act like a king to be treated like one:
-- act like a warrior to be treated like one
-- act like a king and you'd better own a castle
- if you deserve more than you think you'll receive, ask for it -- preemptively
- if you believe you're destined for great things, your belief will radiate outward
- arrogance betrays insecurity
- the farther above the crowd you seem, the easier a target you are
Master the art of timing:
- hurrying betrays a lack of control over oneself, and over time
- look ahead and strike when the time is right
- time depends on perception
- success that is built up slowly and surely is the only kind that lasts
Disdain things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best revenge
- an ignorant abstainer is no ascetic
- by acknowledging petty things you give them existence and credibility
- half of what people do is to get your attention: deprived of this, they flounder
- learn to distinguish between the potentially disastrous and the mildly irritating
Create compelling spectacles:
- use symbols and imagery to your advantage
-- in presentations, exceed expectations
Think as you like but behave like others:
- share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness
-- it is enough to know that someone's special: the exact "why" doesn't need to be revealed
Despise the free lunch:
- by paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit
Avoid stepping into a great man's shoes:
- necessity is what impels men to take action
- forge your own legacy to differentiate yourself from your predecessor
-- your standing on the shoulders of giants allows others to expect highly of you - you, however, must fulfil those expectations
Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter:
- within groups, trouble can usually be traced to a single source person
Work on the hearts and minds of others:
- coercion is not a long-term solution
- listen to people, and deal with them individually
Preach the need for change, but never reform too much:
- on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit. Too much innovation is traumatic, and will lead to revolt.
-- sad, but I am not above this
- the man who initiates strong reforms often becomes the scapegoat for any kind of dissatisfaction
-- duality: a much nicer word for those inate hypocrisies we recognize in ourselves
Never appear too perfect:
-- I meant to comment on this earlier, but taking advice with the word TOO in it is likely to result in a "no true scotsman" fallacy from its proprietor if it fails.
- don't consciously inspire others to envy
- there will be people who will surpass you in some way; you may envy them. Make that feeling a way of pushing yourself to equal or surpass them someday.
- excessive praise is an almost sure sign that the person praising you is either setting you up for a fall or they're sharpening their blades behind your back.
Do not go past the mark you aimed for; in victory, learn when to stop:
- when cross-examining someone, if they slip up, stop there.
- make your victories complete
Assume formlessness:
- evolve to meet demands and challenges
m49.net195-132-155.noos.fr:2531
planetlab1.kent.ac.uk:3124
195.111.133.92:3128
212.24.173.216:3128
^ proxies
-- though repulsive, manipulation exists as a discipline because of its effectiveness. I agree to read this believing I can control the level of sleaze I bring to the table.
Never outshine the master:
- "Masters" care about their name and their glory, little else
- if you can help him in the eyes of others, he will want to help you
- there is nothing to fear from outshining a falling star
-- remember the reincarnation model of business: if you don't like one "master", you can pursue other opportunities
Never put too much trust in friends, learn to how to use enemies:
- keep friends for friendship, but work with the skilled and competent
- conflict and competition keep people sharp -- rivalries?
- note that friends, not enemies, are willing to take chances on you
- never be upset by an enemy's presence - be ready to battle
Conceal your intentions:
- honesty is likely to offend people: it's much more prudent to tailor your words
- by being open you allow familiarity, which can lead to contempt
- the best deceivers cultivate an air of honesty in one area to disguise their dishonesty in others: the #2 in Winning Through Intimidation, who I despise
- create patterns of actions on which people can attempt to predict your behavior: use them until you see fit to break them
- if you get caught deceiving people, admit that's something you do, and don't try to be "honest" about it
In 1711, the Duke of Marlborough, head of the English army, wanted to destroy a key French fort protecting a vital thoroughfare into France. He knew that if he destroyed it, the French would realize what he wanted -- to advance down that road. So, he captured the fort, and garrisoned it with some of his troops, making it appear as if he wanted it for some purpose of his own. When the French attacked the fort, the Duke let them recapture it. Once they had it back, THEY destroyed it, figuring the duke had wanted it for some important reason -- now, with the fort gone and the road unprotected, Marlborough could easily march into France.
Always say less than necessary:
-- this is very, very good advice: people like to "fill in the gaps", and if you don't leave any, that rarely matters
-- "It is better to be silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." -- the default thought is that one's NOT a fool, which makes choosing your words wisely even more appealing
-- when you have to speak up, make your point quickly - or "yammer"
So much depends on reputation -- guard it with your life:
- do not get angry or defensive at slander: that reveals insecurity, not confidence
- if your reputation is stained, associate yourself with an honorable person
Win through your actions, never through argument:
-- people's egos have a vested interest in their not being "wrong"
-- starting an argument is a good way to yammer your way out of trouble
Infection: Avoid the unhappy and unlucky:
-- if power is your goal, don't personally identify with unfortunate people's problems or agendas
- the people you associate with are key: look for ones with good cheer, intelligence, and successes
- never associate with people who share your defects - they will reinforce everything that holds you back.
Learn to keep people dependent on you:
-- if you want the power they can bring you, sure
- to do this, you need a skill that sets you apart from the crowd
Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim:
- One sincere and honest move will cover dozens of dishonest ones.
- If you're known to be dishonest, don't paint people an honest picture - leave a gap for them to fill in
When asking for help, appeal to people's self-interest, never to their mercy or gratitude:
-- this is excellent advice, people hate feeling beholden to a past that serves them no present utility
- some people see appeals to self-interest as ignoble, ugly: these people will take any opportunity to feel superior through charity
Crush your enemy totally:
-- dominance can only be established if the fight is one-sided: even if you don't hold all the cards, pretend to
-- this advice was more applicable to people who lived in days where people actually had enemies - you can deal with troublesome people these days by ruining their reputations and yammering
Use absence to increase respect and honor:
- people want what's scarce and what's desired
- this technique only works once a certain level of power has been attained - use it too early and be forgotten
Keep others in suspended terror: cultivate an air of unpredictability
-- not letting other people know what you're going to do is an excellent barrier to familiarity and its impositions
-- established patterns should be reserved for friends - positive patterns of support - or for people who have clear need of boundaries
Do not build fortresses to protect yourself -- isolation is dangerous:
- Isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from. It cuts you off from valuable information. It makes you conspicuous and an easy target.
- To make yourself powerful you must place yourself at the center of things.
- When you feel the need for isolation, only take small breaks.
Know who you're dealing with: do not offend the wrong person:
5 types of people not to offend:
Arrogant and proud man: Don't bother trying to extract anything from him; whatever you're hoping for isn't worth it.
Hopelessly insecure man: This man will bite you, nibble by passive-aggressive nibble.
Mr. Suspicion: The least dangerous, he sees the worst in other people - you can turn him against others to your benefit if need be.
The serpent with a long memory: If hurt or deceived, this man will calculate and wait, then turn the tables with cold-blooded shrewdness. Recognize this man by his cunning and coldness, and if you have somehow injured him, either crush him completely or get him out of your sight. -- as one of these serpents, I'd amend that to read "get yourself out of his sight".
The plain, unassuming, often unintelligent man: This man lacks a sense of possible reward and wants no part of risk - he won't hurt you, but you'll get nothing out of him. Utterly literal reactions to jokes and stories are indicators of this type.
- there is nothing to be gained by insulting a person unnecessarily
- before you make a move, test the waters, and never rely on your instincts
- never trust appearances, and never trust the version people give of themselves
-- tell people your deeds, never your personality
Do not commit to anyone:
-- what this is really saying is "Don't take sides", which is good advice assuming you retain enough mastery of the situation to avoid being caught in the crossfire
- the powerful will take you over, the weak will wear you down
- holding back from the fray allows you time to position yourself to take advantage of the situation once one side starts to lose.
- if you play too many parties against each other, they'll see through your maneuvers and gang up on you.
- you may find it worthwhile to commit to one side, if only for appearances' sake - to prove you are capable of attachment
Castruccio Castracani, ruler of the Italian town of Lucca, had designs on the town of Pistoia. A siege would have been expensive, but Castruccio knew Pistoia contained two rival factions, the Blacks and the Whites, which hated one another. He negotiated with the Blacks, promising to help them against the Whites; then, without their knowledge, he promised the Whites he would help them against the Blacks. He sent armies to both Black and White-controlled gates - once the armies were allowed entry, he united them in the city, occupied the town, killed the leaders of both factions, ended the war, and took the city as his own.
Use the surrender tactic: Transform weakness into power:
- Never fight a battle you can't win. Never be a martyr.
- Never genuinely surrender. -- I, the serpent-with-a-long-memory type, would need to be crushed as was advised. Events may shake me, but as soon as that stops, I start scheming.
Concentrate your forces:
- find a cash cow
- Sun Tzu: If you are not in danger, do not fight.
- be prepared for the day your cash cow fails
Play the perfect courtier:
- arrange to be noticed
- rarely ask those above you for favors
- be a source of pleasure
Re-create yourself:
- do not accept the roles that society foists upon you
Keep your hands clean:
- use scapegoats
- use associates or a subordinate to hook yourself up with your primary targets
-- matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match
Play on people's need to believe to create a cultlike following:
- keep things vague and simple
- emphasize the visual and sensual over the intellectual
Enter action with boldness:
- if you're small, attack large targets - you have little to lose and lots to gain
- boldness is not a strategy: it is a tactic
- "I tell you on behalf of women: there is not one of us who does not prefer a little rough handling to too much consideration." -- Ninon de Lenclos
- "We would willingly say to you men, 'Ah, in pity's name do not suppose us to be so very virtuous: you are forcing us to have too much of it. . ." -- Ninon de Lenclos
Plan all the way to the end:
- those without a concrete idea of their goal always hunger for more
- plan in detail before you act
Make your accomplishments seem effortless:
- avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work
- teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you
- what is understandable is not awe-inspiring
Control the options: get others to play with the cards you deal
- use biased multiple choice
- use reverse psychology
- people take ego-ownership of their choices, so you're less likely to suffer normal repercussions
- sometimes offering people choices can backfire: left to their own devices, they'll think of things you never could have
-- don't let yourself get caught between two undesirable choices, evade by recognizing them and pursuing your own options
Play to people's fantasies:
-- take no action without considering the logistics of the fantasies others lay out for you
- never be direct in describing a fantasy: keep it vague
- don't get close to the place where you're expected to produce results until you're prepared to produce them - even then, they may be displeasing
Discover each man's thumbscrew:
- everyone has a weakness
- overt traits often conceal their opposites
- the inner child, the void, the weak link, the prominent emotion
- when searching for suckers, always look for the dissatisfied, the unhappy, the insecure
-- translation: get yourself out of the sucker pool by being satisfied, happy, and secure
-- be the quality others want to embody
Be royal in your own fashion: Act like a king to be treated like one:
-- act like a warrior to be treated like one
-- act like a king and you'd better own a castle
- if you deserve more than you think you'll receive, ask for it -- preemptively
- if you believe you're destined for great things, your belief will radiate outward
- arrogance betrays insecurity
- the farther above the crowd you seem, the easier a target you are
Master the art of timing:
- hurrying betrays a lack of control over oneself, and over time
- look ahead and strike when the time is right
- time depends on perception
- success that is built up slowly and surely is the only kind that lasts
Disdain things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best revenge
- an ignorant abstainer is no ascetic
- by acknowledging petty things you give them existence and credibility
- half of what people do is to get your attention: deprived of this, they flounder
- learn to distinguish between the potentially disastrous and the mildly irritating
Create compelling spectacles:
- use symbols and imagery to your advantage
-- in presentations, exceed expectations
Think as you like but behave like others:
- share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness
-- it is enough to know that someone's special: the exact "why" doesn't need to be revealed
Despise the free lunch:
- by paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit
Avoid stepping into a great man's shoes:
- necessity is what impels men to take action
- forge your own legacy to differentiate yourself from your predecessor
-- your standing on the shoulders of giants allows others to expect highly of you - you, however, must fulfil those expectations
Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter:
- within groups, trouble can usually be traced to a single source person
Work on the hearts and minds of others:
- coercion is not a long-term solution
- listen to people, and deal with them individually
Preach the need for change, but never reform too much:
- on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit. Too much innovation is traumatic, and will lead to revolt.
-- sad, but I am not above this
- the man who initiates strong reforms often becomes the scapegoat for any kind of dissatisfaction
-- duality: a much nicer word for those inate hypocrisies we recognize in ourselves
Never appear too perfect:
-- I meant to comment on this earlier, but taking advice with the word TOO in it is likely to result in a "no true scotsman" fallacy from its proprietor if it fails.
- don't consciously inspire others to envy
- there will be people who will surpass you in some way; you may envy them. Make that feeling a way of pushing yourself to equal or surpass them someday.
- excessive praise is an almost sure sign that the person praising you is either setting you up for a fall or they're sharpening their blades behind your back.
Do not go past the mark you aimed for; in victory, learn when to stop:
- when cross-examining someone, if they slip up, stop there.
- make your victories complete
Assume formlessness:
- evolve to meet demands and challenges
m49.net195-132-155.noos.fr:2531
planetlab1.kent.ac.uk:3124
195.111.133.92:3128
212.24.173.216:3128
^ proxies
Friday, June 15, 2007
The Beauty Myth - Naomi Wolf - **
Note: I didn't remember to take notes until halfway through the book. The key concepts from earlier chapters were as follows:
- women face unfair discrimination based on arbitrary evaluations of their looks
- beauty is packaged as something easily achievable that everyone can, and should, have, when in reality nearing the accepted ideal requires serious investment for most and is nigh impossible for others
- the "Church of Beauty" concept, which equates the beauty industry and the sacrifices women make to it with religion
- the iron maiden: though I knew what it was, I didn't know they painted a woman on the outside
- one in three women are "strongly dissatisfied" with their bodies, compared to one in ten for men
There's a lot of stuff in there about how women work so hard, harder than men, etc. I'm ambivalent about this. I know a lot of women ceaselessly work two, three jobs, or even one demanding job, with a work ethic that would put a lot of men to shame. The discrepancy here is that I suspect that men are less inclined to agree longer hours and heavier workloads. Men are notorious for finding ways around these things. In short, my opinion is that while women might actually do more work than men during a given year, men might be more effective at their share.
- Also, the author believes housework equatable to work of the caliber that supports a stay-at-home: a premise that remains compelling only to those whose experience has never crossed it.
Chapter 5: Sex
If ads sold sex, heterosexual men and women would turn to one another and be gratified. Instead, they sell sexual discontent.
"hanging from a meat hook" - easily the most gruesome description of a sex act I've ever heard
Beauty, unlike sexuality, is not innate to women: equating the two does women a disservice
"A man is unlikely to be brought within earshot of women as they judge men's appearance, height, muscle tone, sexual technique, penis size, personal grooming, or taste in clothes -- all of which we do."
-- I am sadder for knowing this, but only because I suspect I'd be found wanting
"What little girls learn is not the desire for another, but the desire to be desired."
-- This book is copyright 1991 and this still rings true.
" 'Preoccupations with her appearance, concerns about face and hair' ranked among the top four qualities that most annoyed men about women."
-- my top four: doesn't do what she says she will, doesn't know what she wants, needy, conceited
Loving a woman the way she is is less exciting than giving her a four-star rating.
Chapter 6: Hunger
This chapter's about eating disorders, so I skipped it. As wrong as it is, I find women who accept anorexia as a lifestyle very attractive. Any woman with the discipline it takes to bear the suffering anorexics endure is virtually guaranteed to be self-motivated, competent, and aware of her sexuality. Bulimia is like anorexia for cheaters, conferring the "reward" with none of the benefits. Bulimics are not so hot.
Chapter 7: Violence
"The Hippocratic Oath begins, 'First, do no harm' "
-- I checked that and it actually doesn't, score one for the internet of 2007 -- the First, do no harm principle does have to do with doctors, but it's something they're taught in med school.
This chapter's largely about cosmetic surgery.
"In the Milgram Experiments of the 1950s, researchers placed subjects' hands on a lever and told them the lever would administer a shock to people they couldn't see. Then, scientists told them to keep administering increasing levels of shock. The subjects, unwilling to disobey scientific authorities telling them it was right, and cut off from seeing the "victims", raised the electric currents to fatal levels."
-- oh shit, that's worth knowing
Chapter 8: Beyond the Beauty Myth
"Many women have described the sweeping revelation that follows even one experience of communal all-female nakedness."
-- the revelation that most women don't look like models? What?
"It is clear that the amount of pain a woman experiences through the beauty myth bears no relationship at all to what she looks like relative to a cultural ideal."
-- there's a story here about a model who can't believe people who don't notice some tiny flaw, it reminds me of the story in Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! where he draws a similarly neurotic model
"Men are only in sexual competition when they are competing sexually, but the [beauty] myth puts women in 'sexual' competition in every situation."
-- the author talks about how advertising is beginning to target men with its own beauty myth, and states that "Since men are more conditioned to be separate from their bodies, and to compete to inhuman excess, the male version could conceivably hurt men even more than the female version hurts women."
-- men don't compete with each other on a beauty scale because we know where we rank in relation to other men: "more attractive" or "less attractive", end of story.
-- I started working out for aesthetics, but kept doing it for strength. Now I'm way stronger and more attractive than I was years ago.. I think I've only spent about $125-150 on vitamins, supplements, and exercise guides over a three-year period.
"You do not win by struggling to the top of a caste system. You win by refusing to be trapped within one at all."
-- words of wisdom
- women face unfair discrimination based on arbitrary evaluations of their looks
- beauty is packaged as something easily achievable that everyone can, and should, have, when in reality nearing the accepted ideal requires serious investment for most and is nigh impossible for others
- the "Church of Beauty" concept, which equates the beauty industry and the sacrifices women make to it with religion
- the iron maiden: though I knew what it was, I didn't know they painted a woman on the outside
- one in three women are "strongly dissatisfied" with their bodies, compared to one in ten for men
There's a lot of stuff in there about how women work so hard, harder than men, etc. I'm ambivalent about this. I know a lot of women ceaselessly work two, three jobs, or even one demanding job, with a work ethic that would put a lot of men to shame. The discrepancy here is that I suspect that men are less inclined to agree longer hours and heavier workloads. Men are notorious for finding ways around these things. In short, my opinion is that while women might actually do more work than men during a given year, men might be more effective at their share.
- Also, the author believes housework equatable to work of the caliber that supports a stay-at-home: a premise that remains compelling only to those whose experience has never crossed it.
Chapter 5: Sex
If ads sold sex, heterosexual men and women would turn to one another and be gratified. Instead, they sell sexual discontent.
"hanging from a meat hook" - easily the most gruesome description of a sex act I've ever heard
Beauty, unlike sexuality, is not innate to women: equating the two does women a disservice
"A man is unlikely to be brought within earshot of women as they judge men's appearance, height, muscle tone, sexual technique, penis size, personal grooming, or taste in clothes -- all of which we do."
-- I am sadder for knowing this, but only because I suspect I'd be found wanting
"What little girls learn is not the desire for another, but the desire to be desired."
-- This book is copyright 1991 and this still rings true.
" 'Preoccupations with her appearance, concerns about face and hair' ranked among the top four qualities that most annoyed men about women."
-- my top four: doesn't do what she says she will, doesn't know what she wants, needy, conceited
Loving a woman the way she is is less exciting than giving her a four-star rating.
Chapter 6: Hunger
This chapter's about eating disorders, so I skipped it. As wrong as it is, I find women who accept anorexia as a lifestyle very attractive. Any woman with the discipline it takes to bear the suffering anorexics endure is virtually guaranteed to be self-motivated, competent, and aware of her sexuality. Bulimia is like anorexia for cheaters, conferring the "reward" with none of the benefits. Bulimics are not so hot.
Chapter 7: Violence
"The Hippocratic Oath begins, 'First, do no harm' "
-- I checked that and it actually doesn't, score one for the internet of 2007 -- the First, do no harm principle does have to do with doctors, but it's something they're taught in med school.
This chapter's largely about cosmetic surgery.
"In the Milgram Experiments of the 1950s, researchers placed subjects' hands on a lever and told them the lever would administer a shock to people they couldn't see. Then, scientists told them to keep administering increasing levels of shock. The subjects, unwilling to disobey scientific authorities telling them it was right, and cut off from seeing the "victims", raised the electric currents to fatal levels."
-- oh shit, that's worth knowing
Chapter 8: Beyond the Beauty Myth
"Many women have described the sweeping revelation that follows even one experience of communal all-female nakedness."
-- the revelation that most women don't look like models? What?
"It is clear that the amount of pain a woman experiences through the beauty myth bears no relationship at all to what she looks like relative to a cultural ideal."
-- there's a story here about a model who can't believe people who don't notice some tiny flaw, it reminds me of the story in Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! where he draws a similarly neurotic model
"Men are only in sexual competition when they are competing sexually, but the [beauty] myth puts women in 'sexual' competition in every situation."
-- the author talks about how advertising is beginning to target men with its own beauty myth, and states that "Since men are more conditioned to be separate from their bodies, and to compete to inhuman excess, the male version could conceivably hurt men even more than the female version hurts women."
-- men don't compete with each other on a beauty scale because we know where we rank in relation to other men: "more attractive" or "less attractive", end of story.
-- I started working out for aesthetics, but kept doing it for strength. Now I'm way stronger and more attractive than I was years ago.. I think I've only spent about $125-150 on vitamins, supplements, and exercise guides over a three-year period.
"You do not win by struggling to the top of a caste system. You win by refusing to be trapped within one at all."
-- words of wisdom
Hot Buttons - Sybil Evans and Sherry Suib Cohen - **
-- I thought of a great technique for getting out of fights: the "reasonable alternative". As soon as you're physically threatened, you suggest another, more reasonable course of action for the other guy and keep the focus on the issue. Should work.
Five steps to conflict resolution, simplified:
- Detach
- Give the other guy the benefit of the doubt
- Get more info about the problem
- Assert your interests and needs
- Find common ground for a solution
Win/Win compromising is mentioned - this book should be all right.
When violence rears its head, consider how much you have to lose and how much you have going for you.
Imply that someone isn't meaning to offend you and they can save face.
Don't lose your dignity or niceness.
Uh-oh, there's a passage in here on movie etiquette where the author says a person has every right to take seats in a movie theater that are being saved for friends. That would start a conflict rather than end one: I'm not failing my friends because someone doesn't respect the concept of seat-saving. Anyone who takes that attitude will have their movie ruined if my friends and I don't find another place to sit before the movie starts.
-- threatening to ruin someone's experience is a really effective threat, should you run into the kind of conceited individual who doesn't understand common courtesy even after it's been explained. Also, I don't think people would consider it hostile enough to respond with violence.
Taking their quiz, I'm not very "hot button" prone (though I knew that) and, according to them, probably don't need the book. "The daily conflicts in your life are usually defused before they have a chance to touch your health. You know how to express your own feelings and needs in a way that does not threaten others or your own sense of well-being. In fact, your calm often helps chronic button-pushers find some calm in their own lives."
"But have you told the truth? Are you sure?" -- Yes.
-- the "teach a man to fish" advice should be mentioned to resolve any conflict dealing with dependencies based on ineptitude: give the guy a fishing pole and withdraw enough support that he learns to feed himself.
-- This is off topic, but the only way leftovers are an acceptable meal is if I have foreknowledge of, and agreement with, their being served as a meal.
From a quiz: "Your best friend says: 'I can't stand your always being late. I can't believe you're so inconsiderate and selfish.' You would probably say something like:"
-- WHERE'S ANDREW WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM
Five basic conflict resolution styles:
Avoider: Put the situation in their face and give them easy ways out of it.
Slash-and-burner: Don't be intimidated. Let him know his being unreasonable is in neither of your best interests, then give him a reasonable alternative.
Peace before disharmony: Don't let him start thinking he's a martyr or that he's taking one for the team. Find out what he wants, then pin him as close to that as possible. If he starts swerving from THAT, use the avoider strategy to make him realize that the only way he can keep the peace is by keeping his word.
Problem solver: Compare perceptions of the problem, then find a win/win solution.
Emo: Wait for him to stop venting before trying to affect change. Don't trivialize his emo attitude, either, as all emos think themselves serious business.
"Think, when you are enraged at anyone, what should happen if he should die during the dispute." - William Shenstone
Empathize, question, paraphrase.
-- The only way to win an argument is to prove you're right. Any argument where that's impossible is worth abandoning as quickly as you can.
"Put brain in gear before putting mouth in motion"
-- In teaching how to respond to criticism, the book doesn't say word one about just brushing off the amateur analysis through self-confidence. What they say is opinion, and since opinion can't be proven, it's not worth arguing over.
"Children have more need of models than critics." - Joubert, French philosopher
-- Men have a whole series of traditions in place for conflict-resolution. Privilege rotation (you go this time, I go next time), coin-flipping, seniority, the white flag, etc., all cool.
-- I'm going to start skipping the "fake people! fake fights!" sections.
Don't ask kids why they do anything: instead, ask what happened, etc.
-- This is good advice. "Why" triggers "Justify". People's reasons for doing things are often different than their stated ones. I'm going to consciously avoid the word "Why?" when interrogating people.
-- you can get a lot of information regarding people's motives from what they expected to happen when they did something.
"Child analysts report that 99% of most aggressive, angry behavior reflects troubling things that are going on in the child's life."
-- I laughed at this one. You can't attach a percentage to an undefined quantity -- what the hell is 99% OF MOST?
"You ought to get some professional help if your child often . . . breaks rules."
-- HALP I NEED A PROFESSIONAL, MY CHILD BRAKES TEH RULES
People often have different definitions of a concept than you do. Use standardized terminology to avoid conflicts. Instead of "afternoon", say "2:00", etc.
"Many women have been taught from the cradle that discord and quarreling are wrong. Although women have been allowed greater latitude in this society when it comes to expressions of affection and love to their friends, the open expression of fury is almost taboo. We tend to avoid conflict, and then our submerged rage leads to unspoken manipulations that can wreck a friendship."
-- People who avoid conflict are probably not good at handling it when it comes up, but I'd much rather a woman told me what was on her mind than take some kind of weird action against me.
friend test score: 232, 8 points shy of being the "best" friend - I am "a good but not legendary friend". The legendary friend expects more of his friends and trusts them more with his weaknesses and secrets than I do. I'm not sure what to say about that. I don't ask much because I don't need much and I don't want to be disappointed. I don't say much because I don't want my friends thinking about my weaknesses. Secrets? Not part of my friendship with most people. I keep my distance, don't volunteer anything, don't ask questions that don't need to be asked. Why? I don't really know. Probably the old idea that if they don't need to say it, I don't need to hear it, and vice versa.
Top Ten Button-Pushers Between Friends
Tries to control the choice of movie or restaurant
Is habitually late for appointments
Cancels dates indiscriminately
Doesn't like your partner, and shows it
Becomes scarce when trouble arrives
Tells you what to do without being asked for advice
Betrays confidences
Doesn't return calls
Carries grudges, can never forgive
Doesn't do what he says he'll do
Four pairs of (non-exclusive) communication styles:
Linear/Circular: I was going to say that that circular speakers were just flat-out bad at talking to people, but then I realized they can probably tell pretty good stories.
Plain-spoken/Vague: Vague people don't like to make commitments. The best way to deal with them is to do things with or without them.
Take-turns/Interact: Take-turns people don't interrupt, interact people interject their own thoughts into the other person's speech. As an interact, I suspect take-turns people are too polite for their own good.
Big picture/Detail-oriented: Life calls for both. Whenever I can, I start out with the big picture, then work down into the details.
Five principles to deescalate anger:
Avoid double standards. It's easy to attribute your own behavior to a situation and attribute your friend's to a shortcoming.
Know your role. Did you miss something?
There are two sides to every coin.
Try to find solutions.
Acknowledge the part you played.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry... NOT"
-- fortunately, there is something that means never having to say you're sorry: necrophilia
Don't say "I forgive you, but..."
When two of your friends fight, stay out of the line of fire and stay loyal to both.
Emphasize collaboration whenever possible
"Social norms prevent most people from telling other people, "You stink at this."
Five steps to conflict resolution, simplified:
- Detach
- Give the other guy the benefit of the doubt
- Get more info about the problem
- Assert your interests and needs
- Find common ground for a solution
Win/Win compromising is mentioned - this book should be all right.
When violence rears its head, consider how much you have to lose and how much you have going for you.
Imply that someone isn't meaning to offend you and they can save face.
Don't lose your dignity or niceness.
Uh-oh, there's a passage in here on movie etiquette where the author says a person has every right to take seats in a movie theater that are being saved for friends. That would start a conflict rather than end one: I'm not failing my friends because someone doesn't respect the concept of seat-saving. Anyone who takes that attitude will have their movie ruined if my friends and I don't find another place to sit before the movie starts.
-- threatening to ruin someone's experience is a really effective threat, should you run into the kind of conceited individual who doesn't understand common courtesy even after it's been explained. Also, I don't think people would consider it hostile enough to respond with violence.
Taking their quiz, I'm not very "hot button" prone (though I knew that) and, according to them, probably don't need the book. "The daily conflicts in your life are usually defused before they have a chance to touch your health. You know how to express your own feelings and needs in a way that does not threaten others or your own sense of well-being. In fact, your calm often helps chronic button-pushers find some calm in their own lives."
"But have you told the truth? Are you sure?" -- Yes.
-- the "teach a man to fish" advice should be mentioned to resolve any conflict dealing with dependencies based on ineptitude: give the guy a fishing pole and withdraw enough support that he learns to feed himself.
-- This is off topic, but the only way leftovers are an acceptable meal is if I have foreknowledge of, and agreement with, their being served as a meal.
From a quiz: "Your best friend says: 'I can't stand your always being late. I can't believe you're so inconsiderate and selfish.' You would probably say something like:"
-- WHERE'S ANDREW WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM
Five basic conflict resolution styles:
Avoider: Put the situation in their face and give them easy ways out of it.
Slash-and-burner: Don't be intimidated. Let him know his being unreasonable is in neither of your best interests, then give him a reasonable alternative.
Peace before disharmony: Don't let him start thinking he's a martyr or that he's taking one for the team. Find out what he wants, then pin him as close to that as possible. If he starts swerving from THAT, use the avoider strategy to make him realize that the only way he can keep the peace is by keeping his word.
Problem solver: Compare perceptions of the problem, then find a win/win solution.
Emo: Wait for him to stop venting before trying to affect change. Don't trivialize his emo attitude, either, as all emos think themselves serious business.
"Think, when you are enraged at anyone, what should happen if he should die during the dispute." - William Shenstone
Empathize, question, paraphrase.
-- The only way to win an argument is to prove you're right. Any argument where that's impossible is worth abandoning as quickly as you can.
"Put brain in gear before putting mouth in motion"
-- In teaching how to respond to criticism, the book doesn't say word one about just brushing off the amateur analysis through self-confidence. What they say is opinion, and since opinion can't be proven, it's not worth arguing over.
"Children have more need of models than critics." - Joubert, French philosopher
-- Men have a whole series of traditions in place for conflict-resolution. Privilege rotation (you go this time, I go next time), coin-flipping, seniority, the white flag, etc., all cool.
-- I'm going to start skipping the "fake people! fake fights!" sections.
Don't ask kids why they do anything: instead, ask what happened, etc.
-- This is good advice. "Why" triggers "Justify". People's reasons for doing things are often different than their stated ones. I'm going to consciously avoid the word "Why?" when interrogating people.
-- you can get a lot of information regarding people's motives from what they expected to happen when they did something.
"Child analysts report that 99% of most aggressive, angry behavior reflects troubling things that are going on in the child's life."
-- I laughed at this one. You can't attach a percentage to an undefined quantity -- what the hell is 99% OF MOST?
"You ought to get some professional help if your child often . . . breaks rules."
-- HALP I NEED A PROFESSIONAL, MY CHILD BRAKES TEH RULES
People often have different definitions of a concept than you do. Use standardized terminology to avoid conflicts. Instead of "afternoon", say "2:00", etc.
"Many women have been taught from the cradle that discord and quarreling are wrong. Although women have been allowed greater latitude in this society when it comes to expressions of affection and love to their friends, the open expression of fury is almost taboo. We tend to avoid conflict, and then our submerged rage leads to unspoken manipulations that can wreck a friendship."
-- People who avoid conflict are probably not good at handling it when it comes up, but I'd much rather a woman told me what was on her mind than take some kind of weird action against me.
friend test score: 232, 8 points shy of being the "best" friend - I am "a good but not legendary friend". The legendary friend expects more of his friends and trusts them more with his weaknesses and secrets than I do. I'm not sure what to say about that. I don't ask much because I don't need much and I don't want to be disappointed. I don't say much because I don't want my friends thinking about my weaknesses. Secrets? Not part of my friendship with most people. I keep my distance, don't volunteer anything, don't ask questions that don't need to be asked. Why? I don't really know. Probably the old idea that if they don't need to say it, I don't need to hear it, and vice versa.
Top Ten Button-Pushers Between Friends
Tries to control the choice of movie or restaurant
Is habitually late for appointments
Cancels dates indiscriminately
Doesn't like your partner, and shows it
Becomes scarce when trouble arrives
Tells you what to do without being asked for advice
Betrays confidences
Doesn't return calls
Carries grudges, can never forgive
Doesn't do what he says he'll do
Four pairs of (non-exclusive) communication styles:
Linear/Circular: I was going to say that that circular speakers were just flat-out bad at talking to people, but then I realized they can probably tell pretty good stories.
Plain-spoken/Vague: Vague people don't like to make commitments. The best way to deal with them is to do things with or without them.
Take-turns/Interact: Take-turns people don't interrupt, interact people interject their own thoughts into the other person's speech. As an interact, I suspect take-turns people are too polite for their own good.
Big picture/Detail-oriented: Life calls for both. Whenever I can, I start out with the big picture, then work down into the details.
Five principles to deescalate anger:
Avoid double standards. It's easy to attribute your own behavior to a situation and attribute your friend's to a shortcoming.
Know your role. Did you miss something?
There are two sides to every coin.
Try to find solutions.
Acknowledge the part you played.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry... NOT"
-- fortunately, there is something that means never having to say you're sorry: necrophilia
Don't say "I forgive you, but..."
When two of your friends fight, stay out of the line of fire and stay loyal to both.
Emphasize collaboration whenever possible
"Social norms prevent most people from telling other people, "You stink at this."
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